I am sorry to hear you are going through this tough time…
I have a few thoughts that may help. First of all nothing is wrong with you PERIDO. I suffer from anxiety too and it really is just your brain playing tricks on you. I have taken medication in the past that triggered my anxiety and made it worse so I know it wasn’t me it was just the medication which I am now off!
As for loving yourself I think it is kind of interesting because there are so many different ways. I.e some people love their body but hate their mental state or vise versa. There are tons of areas of you that can be loved in different ways. A good idea would be to take a peice of paper or google doc and make little categories of things to love about yourself and when you are feeling down you can read it as a reminder!!