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shoob

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  • #386408
    shoob
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you very much for the detailed response, I also just wanted to say I really appreciate your response and this discussion as I’ve always been too embarrassed to share this height insecurity in real life – so thank you.

    And yes you make very good points about the studies – I should not take so much stock in them.

    And yes also very good point on the themes of inferiority – I just need to learn to get better at accepting that I cannot change other’s perspective of me and to just go about my day. I will also try to stop this habit of comparison.

    I’ll keep trying to work on this comparison habit and hopefully learn to not only accept my height but be proud of it as well. Hopefully one day…

    And thank you for sharing as well Anita, I hope you feel better about your height now as well, societal expectations/valuations of our physical attributes can feel very frustrating/depressing at times.

    I just wanted to finally say thank you so much for responding in such a caring and detailed fashion, you are a very kind soul and I really appreciate it 🙂

    Shoob

     

     

    #386382
    shoob
    Participant

    I’m not too sure if there is a specific moment before I went to school, but there were times when I experienced racism as a young child from other children and really started to hate being asian. I really wanted to fit in the Western society I was in and I longed to be white though I have overcome that now and am proud to be asian.

    And while this feeling of not being enough height started a bit in high school, it’s really started to consume me again now in my current adult working life. Perhaps recently I have been going on the internet too much and watching videos of all these ‘height matters’ videos and learning of too many studies essentially saying being a shorter male is an overall negative thing making me feel bad about myself.

    Have you ever experienced some similar things anita about aspects of yourself you couldn’t change that you didnt’ like?

    #386380
    shoob
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

     

    Thank you for the response and I believe it’s my first true obsession, but previously it’s been my nature to identify lacking traits in myself and work hard at ‘fixing’/improving them (e.g. studies, sports, getting better at hobbies) – but I’m struggling to deal with this ‘lacking’ trait as it seems there is nothing I can do – I just feel less masculine/deserving of respect and love because of this trait and I don’t know how to get rid of it or stop believing it… literally looking up to people all the time is difficult for my mental as it feels like I am lesser than them in that moment.

    Shoob

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