Hi Cruzzie,

I felt compelled to respond to your post.  It totally sucks to sleep all day, cry, stuck with your bad thoughts and feel so awful.  It really does.  I have been there.  What’s worst is waking up in the morning raging mad.  I live alone and there is no one around and nothing to be mad about, much less raging mad.  After years of going through all that, a doctor finally gave me something for severe depression.  It turns out I’ve been walking around with that illness without my knowing it or knowing anything about the symptoms.  I simply thought I just have a very bad attitude.  I hate meds – any kind.  But I took those things anyway and after a while I could think straight, I have hope for my future, have tons of things to keep me occupied, and best of all, there is no rage or suicidal thoughts or any of that.  That’s the important thing.  You really don’t want to die, trust me.  You will get buried in the ground, and get eaten by worms and who knows what else.  Just kidding!  I don’t know what’s there and I don’t really have any interest in finding out.

Now at the risk of you thinking I’m patronizing, let me assure you that I am not.  But think about this for a second.  If you have negative thoughts and thoughts of suicide, truly Cruzzie, there are solutions to whatever it is you are feeling.  I understand where you are coming from.  Please give yourself a chance at life.  You look so young in that picture and there is so much you can do to feel better and that’s why there are doctors around everywhere – to help you.    I am not a doctor, but I sure can recommend something that will help you temporarily until you get professional help.  And here goes…..just read, read something, anything.  Don’t watch TV.  It’s mostly  more bad news that you don’t want to hear or see.  If you can find a Bible somewhere quick, I promise you there are tons of great advice from that book.  In the mean time, would you just take deep breaths and call this number if you can’t take it much longer?  Call 1 800 273-8255.  Just talk to someone. You will be alright.

Best regards,

SiLupe