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December 16, 2014 at 4:11 am #69328SmurfetteParticipant
🙂 I can’t help but smile while I was reading this post. No offense meant to you, Steve. Reading through it, I saw myself. I used to ask the same questions, perhaps even more – what’s wrong with me? Don’t I deserve to be loved and be with someone? Is there nobody for me out there?
I believe I am a good person. I know I am honest. I know that I have a good heart and I was raised to be a good woman. As much as possible, I keep away from hurting other people, even to the extent of sacrificing how I feel just so I could spare them from possible hurt feelings. I may not the best, but I am also far from being worst. Despite all the sacrifices and my being nice, still it’s a “me against the whole world” thing. Here I am, still alone, only wanted when friends need something from me. I do not feel like I am remembered or regarded by them, the way I do for them. I may not be miserable but it’s a lonely world when you’re all alone. How I wish I would have someone who would see me in a different way…someone special. But then I realized that if I wallow in that feeling of longing to belong to someone, I might end up losing even my own self. So I decided not to depend my happiness on others, I told myself that I have to be happy even when I am alone and love myself even more so that when someone comes along, I can share love freely because I have loved myself enough. Because I am just human and not perfect, I sometimes waiver and succumb to the loneliness deep within my heart but I always tell myself that I shouldn’t have a weak disposition in life because I will only live once and for that, I should live my life fully. Life gets shorter everyday, so I shouldn’t waste any minute sulking in a corner. I think happy thoughts – sometimes my mind would wander far beyond reality (coz it’s nice there, everything is easy, beautiful, happy, all ideals happen in a fantasy world, right?) but I always bring myself back to reality because this is where I currently am. And being alone is my reality so I should face it and live through it everyday with a smile. 🙂
All I’m saying is, love – always have love because with love in your heart, nothing would go wrong, it would always make you happy. 🙂 Without a date, you can still share love around – your kids, your friends, pets, etc. In God’s own time, in your own time, you’ll find someone who’s meant for you, a someone you will have in your life and who would be happy to have you in her life. Just trust Him. He knows the deepest desires of your heart and when you ask Him, He’ll give it to you. 🙂 Have a good day, Steve!
P.S. Singleness didn’t kill me, I’m sure it won’t kill you too! (just planting a smile on your face :D)