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wilma

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  • in reply to: Looking for some support/advice #73520
    wilma
    Participant

    I say, live your dream! As the quote goes, you are never too old to be who you are. We only get one chance at life. Make of it what you will, and don’t let your age or past circumstances be a deterrent. The only one holding you back is you. Loosen the reigns and fly! I wish you the best of luck.

    in reply to: Abuse or Am I crazy? #73519
    wilma
    Participant

    Oh no, no, no. I dated “the benefit of the doubt”. That is, I already knew his reputation. I thought he had changed because he seemed so sincere. Leopards don’t lose their spots in the wash.

    The brain is a powerful tool. It can take you places you want to go, and don’t want to go. It can play games with you, just as he is doing. The cycle will continue as long as you let it. Me, I got my things and got out. I’m only on Day 2 post-breakup, but already I feel so much better. I am not looking back; the calendar has so many more days ahead. Time is a great healer.

    The next time you are considering getting back with him, I would encourage you to come back here and re-read your original post as if it were written by someone else. What advice would you offer to the poster?

    I continue to wish you the best of luck.

    in reply to: Abuse or Am I crazy? #73473
    wilma
    Participant

    I would get the same thing…”which personality am I talking to today?” I don’t meet the criterion for being bipolar. Its a word they use without knowing what it even means.

    I got the nipple twists. Finally one night I told him that if he did that again, I would leave. He stopped. Imagine having that done to you during their most sensitive time of the month. Luckily, that was a far as the physical went.

    I too feel guilty of being accused of being abusive. I was often too afraid to say anything. I am not sure how I was abusive. I guess I will never know.

    Surprisingly, my previous boyfriend has reassured me that I am perfectly normal, and nowhere close to being bipolar or having a split personality.

    As much as it hurts for it to be over, I’m also relieved. I don’t have to listen to someone tell me I’m something I’m not. Hopefully we can both put the mind games behind us and live the lives we were meant to live.

    in reply to: Abuse or Am I crazy? #73471
    wilma
    Participant

    No, you are neither crazy nor abusive. I am somewhat in a similar situation. My now-ex would tell me I was bipolar, he would ask which personality he is talking to. The list of things I could and could not do, bordered on ridiculous. When I confronted him and said he was abusive, he too claimed that I was the abusive one. As you have already written, mind control is a powerful tool. There were days when I felt smaller than small, when I questioned my own sanity…and I possess an undergraduate degree in Psychology, at that.

    Abuse takes many forms. There doesn’t have to be physical contact for it to be considered as such.

    I am so sorry you are going through this right now, same as I presently am.

    The best of luck and stay strong!

    Wilma

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