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I understand feeling guilty and bad during a bad breakup. But I don’t necessarily think that it’s a negative thing. It means you have the ability to look at the situation from multiple perspectives.
To be able to examine ones own choices, thoughts, and actions; evaluate and then have compassion for oneself is a great thing. Just make sure that you are treating yourself fairly, and evaluating yourself with a clear head. When trauma happens, I feel like guilt inevitably rears its ugly head.
This is a learning experience. Why were you so angry? What was the real reason you were so hurt? And not just the reason you tell everyone. How could this have gone differently? Are your wants and needs any different now that you’ve endured this? You don’t have to share. I’m just saying that these are the questions you need to ask yourself. Take that knowledge and apply it to your relationships in the future.
You got this.SarahParticipant
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Bad breakups make an already awful situation even worse.
I think that your intention to learn as much as you can is so incredibly awesome and strong. Don’t ever stop that. It’s awesome.
Moving on, I want to know how he broke up with you. What was said? Was it in an appropriate mature tone (I’m doubting it but I want to make sure)? Or was he mean?
I feel sorry for him to be honest. When people are just that awful, (because the things he said were really really mean and unnecessary) you know that they must be going through a lot. A lot of what? I don’t know. But it has to be something. Something rotten is going on with him, there is no reason to be that negative and hurtful otherwise.
I applaud your efforts in taking initiative to try and separate yourself from him. That is a very hard thing to do. Keep going. You can do it. Focus on your safety and well being. Take all steps necessary to make sure you are the most important person in your life.
Idk if I even helped. I just read this and knew I had to reach out to you.
Please let me know if I can help in any way.