Hi,

This is a very touching story. Especially the part where you share that you would still marry Hart if she came around. It just goes to show that true love is unconditional. Its heartbreaking that she feels she can’t live her truth. But for whatever reason, its the path she has chosen and it must be respected. Everything she needs to learn in life will be a result of her choosing to take that path. I hope that one day she will come to a place of loving herself unconditionally. Until then, there’s nothing anyone in her life can do.

I’ve recently experienced a somewhat similar situation. I am a heterosexual woman who recently started dating a man I met over a year ago after we ran into each other at an event. We spent that first evening together talking and laughing until 3am. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, physically or otherwise. But the next day, he text me that he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he’d wanted to explore more. We quickly began dating, he told me he loved me, and took back me home to meet his family. His family was wonderful and accepting of me. However when we returned to our home city, I sensed a shift. I could tell that he was slowly distancing himself. Now since we’d begun dating, I’d asked him several times if he were gay. When I first met him over a year ago I assumed he was gay. Each time I asked him, he said no. But I couldn’t help but notice he wouldn’t introduce me to any of his friends, who are all gay and lesbian. Not one. I found that to be very interesting. He has a gay male best friend and a lesbian best friend and I’ve never met either of them. I haven’t even had the opportunity to see their social media profiles, as he keeps his friend list private. Shortly after we returned from meeting his family, we broke things off. I couldn’t deal with him being distant and moody. And he couldn’t deal with me wondering whether the dating was ever going to lead to something more serious.

However, shortly after we broke things off he began pursuing me again. Calling and texting more than he did when we were dating. We promised we’d remain friends if things didn’t work out romantically so I always respond when he reaches out. Turns out, the story he’s given his co-workers is that he and I are “taking things slowly”. And he recently asked me to take a vacation to Miami with him.

One day he called and it was obvious he wanted to see me so I invited him over. We ended up drinking, talking, and eventually things got physical. Without going to far into detail, I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t get “excited” until I stimulated him in an area that is primarily focused upon by gay men. He immediately orgasmed (which he didn’t do very often before during intercourse) and I was at a loss for words. It was at that moment that I knew.

I distanced myself even more, but in the coming weeks he continued to reach out. I finally worked up the nerve yesterday to ask him why he was so turned on by what I did. He blamed it on the alcohol. I also asked him, in a joking manner, when he plans to come out of the closet. He denied being gay, once again, and quickly changed the subject.

Unfortunately, while we spoke, which was over Skype, I couldn’t help but fall in love with him all over again. I’ve never been as attracted to a man as I am attracted to him. And aside from thinking he may be homosexual, he’s everything I want in a man. I can’t believe that I even just said that. I sound like a textbook case. But I’m torn between maintaining a friendship with a man I have feelings for and can’t have and just cutting him off, which is something I have never done to any person.

Any comments, stories, responses are welcome 🙂