Hello,

I’m going something very similar these past days. I know that I am suffering with severe overthinking and anxiety. I watched porn when I was younger and I was watching I think more lesbian videos but I also watched many other categories. I’m a type of person that I would think everything and I would make up situation that probably no one else would think of even about life or about sex. I always thought that the female body was beautiful and I was always into men. About a year ago one of my best friends said that she was bi and I told my boyfriend what if I was bi too and he was like no you aren’t and I thought of that because I said that I wouldn’t have a problem doing something with a woman but that’s just a thought I don’t know if I could ever do it. I have stopped watching porn for many years now but I still remember everything. I am in a beautiful relationship to be years and three months now with my little soul ain’t that I love more than my whole life more than everything and I don’t wanna lose him. Sometimes I would go through phases where I thought I was bi because I would see Tik-Toks of girls and I would feel something tingling and that’s when I thought that oh my gosh does that mean that I like girls and that I am bi? And about some weeks ago I checked on a website that a friend has and she uploads videos of herself naked pictures and stuff like that and I wanted to see what else she has uploaded. And when I saw her thanks it was like porn stuff and I felt something tingling again. And when I saw her thanks it was like porn stuff and I felt something tingling again. When these phases and thoughts started coming in I always said that I want to die and I want to have sexual intercourse with a guy because that’s what it feels me and girls can’t reach that and that’s what I said again and it felt like it didn’t work. And I was thinking constantly that I might be bi and that I don’t care about what I do with my boyfriend and that I would prefer to do with a girl and these thoughts just kept coming up. I don’t want to be bi. But my brain keeps saying that you don’t mean it you don’t care if you are and you are you just don’t want excepted and that you will have to look at every girl that passes by you and now I just pay attention to what I feel like when I see stories on Instagram and pics of girls to make sure if something is tingling and sometimes it does but I don’t know if it happens because I paid too much attention it, or because I’m going through that phase now, because that phase stops too. It’s just that it is way worse now and play one hour crying I can’t eat I can’t sleep properly and everything. I don’t know what to do does that any of that mean that I am bi?

Thank you in advance!

Just got into the point where I don’t feel like myself anymore like I don’t know like I even think that I have lost my girly side and I was always very girly always on point I was always dressing up perfectly and I always took as much care of myself as I could when I went out and to make sure that I was always perfect for my boyfriend. I never thought that I would want to be in a relationship with a woman. I just want everything gone.