Good Evening, this is my first day actually reading or even seeing this website and I am so dumbfounded! I have needed this for so long. I see myself. I see what I am doing to myself. The anger that I am not letting go. The insecurity within myself. I have been married for 26 years and I still love my husband but still DO NOT trust him. He is never cheated on me but in the early stages I would catch him lying to me when he wanted to go out and party. Now 26 years later I still get angry if he goes out. I can’t stand it anymore. He is not doing anything wrong. I don’t understand what or why am I acting this way every time. The gut feeling comes up again. I feel like he WILL eventually cheat on me but I know that he loves me. Does this stem from the past boyfriends that I dated before him that DID cheat on me? Have I brought those feelings into this relationship which I feel could destroy a good one? I know he loves me and I love him. I need my way of thinking better. I don’t understand this.