Dear Panda,

First, I will start by telling you that you are an amazingly brave and lovely person, do not ever think otherwise about yourself because someone else makes you think that way.

After reading your post, I could not stop myself from replying to your post. It is because I went through a very similar situation you are going through, nothing different.

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years before deciding to call it off last year. In fact, I knew it was not working for me long time ago but could not find the courage to walk out. When I walked out I realised I have lost my self-worth and self-esteem, I felt like a loser too capable of doing nothing. I started believing that I was the reason for all the abuse that was hurled at me, probably I made him so angry that he slapped me across my face or called me a slut everytime we had a fight. One day he casually turned round and said that I do not have a good face, his exes were so much more prettier. When I told him, I was hurt at his comments, he told me that this is him being honest with me.

When you are in love, you chose to ignore the bad and only focus on the good because you can’t imagine your life without your partner. You start believing that you can not live without that person, how ever that is far from truth. You do not deserve to be treated the way you had been treated all this while. Do you even imagine living a life like that forever? Do you really think he cares for your happiness? Ignore the good moments few and far in between, what matters is how does he treat you when things are not right. How does he behave with you when something goes wrong in the office, you are not the punching bag who has to take the grunt of all his anger. You deserve love and most importantly respect. You need to start believing in yourself that you can make through it because nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

You were brave enough to walk out, you are brave enough to overcome this too.

You have a whole life in front of you to make your dreams come true, you are only 34, stop acting like you are 90 already. You are as good as you think you are, you need to start believing in yourself. You deserve much much better. Do not do the mistake of going back.

SSingh