Thank you both for your responses.

Inky: Thank you for the site, I will definitely check that out. I’m currently gearing up for the spring season now and trying to organize garden supplies/seeds/etc. Hoping this year I can fit a bit more into it. The 15 minute organize a day sounds amazing, and I’ve been wanting to do that, but I’m spread across four houses currently, and needing to know who uses what in each is hard to organize in a 15 minute time slot due to shouting ‘DO YOU NEED THIS?!’ from different rooms to figure out where to place it and in which importance. Maybe I can just spend 15 minutes inventory-ing a day, and then once i know the use/importance, i can spend 15 organizing them into the needed places.

Anita: I mean, honestly.. that’s likely my issue. If my mind isn’t focused on a few tasks, I panic. I get an overwhelming sense of ‘I need to be doing something else, there’s more that needs to be done’. I feel antsy in my chest, and then i spin out, mostly.. because I’m going over what needs to be done, and how to do it, but I get stuck in that process alone, without actually doing any one thing, which stresses me more because I’m aware I’m wasting time.

I don’t really relate an importance to me personally (I know that’s terrible, and I’ve tried so hard to work on it, but I still can’t find a way to fix that), so doing for just me isn’t something I can do. I associate my purpose with what I can do for those around me. I also feel like I’m running against a clock, as I have someone extremely close to me battling cancer, and I’ve seen disease and sickness take some of my loved ones away from me in brutal ways (that still haunt me in the way they suffered).

I feel helpless and defeated if I take a minute to breathe.

In fact, my job has seen some technical difficulties tonight and it’s now out of my realm of help (I’m locked out of a certain area because I’m not at the server location so I can’t fix it) I’ve been idle with work for about an hour, and cleaning the house here, and planning out some garden charts while listening to an audio on tape, but i’m having a hard time keeping myself focused because there’s so much more i need to get done.

I wish i could turn it off, it’s just all consuming for me.