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April 24, 2023 at 8:30 am #417693
StellardustParticipantHi Emma,
Any person who is actively cheating (lying, deceiving, secretive etc.) be it micro or any other definition on you, is not loving you.
A person who truly loves you would not behave in such a manner towards you. Ever. A person who is a real friend would never do that to you either. He was secretly dishonest with you.
You did well by asking him to leave. That took courage. You broke up with him. That took resilience.
You say you are invested in his journey and development. This attachment you have for him is playing you. You are not his therapist, you are not his friend. He cheated on you in all secrecy. Invest in yourself and your development away from this situation.
Heal yourself first. Your question should be what have I learnt about myself from this experience instead of asking yourself about keeping a friendship..
I wish you the best in moving on.
March 27, 2023 at 2:46 pm #416802
StellardustParticipantHi TheltFactor,
You seem to be the one who is grounded and you know what you want. Good for you! You seem to be a resilient woman.
The way I see it, is that Compatibility without Commitment means having temporary mutual fun maybe even for a long, long time. It means enjoying those moments spent together. That’s all.
Commitment is the glue that holds two people together for the present and for the future. In good times and not so good times.
At one point, in any new relationship, it takes both parties to want to commit fully together, as a team if you wish. Then to commit and work through the more sensitive issues that arise together.
This did not seem to be your story.
I wish you the very best moving forwards.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.