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September 19, 2020 at 3:06 am #366947StephenParticipant
“If someone hasn’t got a smile, give them yours”
That is very powerful stuff!
September 17, 2020 at 5:06 pm #366898StephenParticipantThank you for your time Anita, I will update this when appropriate as a way of a documenting my journey.
September 17, 2020 at 3:26 pm #366895StephenParticipantI am doing what i can to wrong the negativity i have put into the world. Today i walked down the street and smiled at everyone. Sure i got some funny looks, but it felt like the right thing to do. It was bizzare, possibly related to the meditation an hour prior?
September 16, 2020 at 1:44 am #366803StephenParticipantNot really, this certainly wasn’t pushed on me by family, and i have always been emotionally independant.
September 14, 2020 at 4:15 pm #366729StephenParticipantMy truthful answer remains the same, by what you have shared with us it sounds like she is trying to “let you down softly”. Again, i can’t offer much in regards too a spiritual solution but what i can promise you from experience is that if you meet someone else you will certainly forget about her. Though i would personally feel exploited if my partner was with me whilst hoping for someone else and it would be dishonest to her and maybes more importantly, yourself. You can not find the shipwrecked treasure by dipping your toe into the sea, you need to dive in. What i mean is that you must go into a relationship with an open mind.
September 14, 2020 at 4:04 pm #366725StephenParticipantNothing beyond the normal teenager in regards to anger at parents, as an only child i pretty much wanted for nothing though i have never been a materialistic person. The anger was more at the “system” be it school,college then society as a whole. I perceived islam and multiculturalism as a threat to my family i suppose, the right is no different to any political view in the sense that they nit pick certain facts and figures and distort where applicable. I have done it myself as part of this “confirmation bias”. It was certainly a way to channel and vent my anger and maybes a touch of a rebellion element.
September 14, 2020 at 12:14 pm #366707StephenParticipantI think that Alan Watts quote really speaks to me, i had masqueraded as that sort of person for so long i imagined myself to be that person. You are absolutely right, this will not change overnight and i have tried to set a sort of goal to do atleast one productive positive thing a day, not only for myself but for others. An altruistic act if we will. Whilst i recognize that this was just a mask i put on, i also recognize it is one i was heavily indoctrinated into and i cannot change overnight. I am doing alot of self reflection on why i find myself in this position today and why it has been for so long and i unfortunately cannot share much more on the matter as i don’t understand myself.
I attended a school that had a high number of islamic pupils where these gangs could be quite violent and racist, this definetly pushed me towards a (at the time) growing right wing movement. I am starting to see that the actions of this demographic at my former school were whats important, not their ethnicity or belief which had no real logical bearing on the actions. I am reading alot about confirmation bias’s and other such psychological tricks we play on ourselves too convice ourselves that we are infact the ego we imagine.
Thank you for sharing that interesting piece on Watts and thank you for your welcoming reply. To be met with such a warm welcome after hearing my story, it only reinforces my path away from my former life.
September 14, 2020 at 6:25 am #366641StephenParticipantHi Felix, hope you are well. I cant offer much in the spiritual sense as i am new to all this but i know a bit about life being a few years older than you and having my fair share of girls.
Time to move on buddy. It really is. She isn’t waiting for you, she is waiting for you to stop. A friends situation isn’t going to work and it’s because of you that it isn’t gonna work, and that’s ok, you can accept this and you know you can accept this or you wouldn’t be here,on this forum for someone to tell you this, you know that no one on here was going to spur you on. I’m not sure where you live but in England, where i live, 21 -17 is an eyebrow raiser. 16-12 is a VERY dodgy eyebrow raise, I don’t mean this from a legal or critical point of view either but its’s time to move on brother, you will look back on this in the future and realize you were upset about nothing, i promise. Until that time this seems like a very welcoming forum full of supportive people who will help you through any pain you are feeling. Chin up mate, let that fish swim away.
- This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by tinybuddha.
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