Thanks Will! That was really nice to read as I was starting to regret my decision. I’m glad to hear you thought it was a good idea. I am taking it a bit hard. I guess after getting the same results no matter the approach takes a toll on someone. I’m going to take maybe a week or two to feel the hurt then try and pick myself back up. Definitely won’t be dating or talking to anyone for a while. My natural reaction is to retreat and I’ve already been pretty anti social maybe I need the opposite. I’ve had a string of bad luck this past year with dating too. I’m like a lion: i stake out my prey and then slowly make my move. Maybe I’m a little too methodical. I just like to really access the person I’m attracted to before I jump into anything. I always seem to miss the fact they are dating someone lol, maybe that’s what I like about them: They are nice to me,don’t try to hit on me, listen to what I’m actually saying, I feel comfortable. I guess most guys who are interested don’t behave in that way or I don’t know I guess. I think what I can take away from this as much as it hurts, is to just come right out with it from the start. If I like someone ask them out. It I meet someone attractive find out right away if they are dating someone. Don’t wait too long, go after what you want right from the start. I feel maybe I am too hard on myself when I like someone, I wait for them to approach me while showing no signs of any attraction. Oh well now I’m just rambling. It will be a hard week but he is a sweet guy, so hopefully he will make this transition easy on me. Thanks again Will.

Thank you all again for your replies! I think you might be on to something Mary, since I’ve been so turned off of dating I am meeting better people. and they are coming to me! I went on a date last week with a guy I’ve been msging for two months. I didn’t feel like he was into me and it made me feel weird. I felt weird because I didn’t really care. I thought he could possibly be a good friend. Another part of me felt like just because he wasn’t trying to get in my pants that night I thought he wasn’t into me. I found it sad that this is how I’ve been basing most of my relationships on. If they want to bang me they like me and I’m always blindsided. I’ve been with dozens of men so it took this for me to realize that a guy who’s interested will want to get to know me! Duh!!!

I have to say to Joseph and Jade your comments really made me think and feel good. Joseph, you seemed to hit the nail on the head.this should of been so obvious. The right person for me won’t care and won’t judge me. I guess I was trying to fit into society norms or what I think I see around me or what’s on TV. I never once considered that the right guy for me is the right guy for ME, as an individual. I was trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
Jade, your comments made me feel a lot better as well. There is someone for everyone and it came at the right moment because it was right after Joseph’s point which proves there is nothing wrong with being sexually active. I was so ashamed of this for so long. I think you are 100% right and I am thankful you took the time to reach out to me 🙂

what I have read in the last week has made a tremendous impact on my self esteem. I really do consider everyone’s opinion and I sit back and mull it over in my head. I don’t know why I didn’t see it this way before.

I have a second date with someone tonight. I spilled my guts to him and was 100% myself and he asked me out for a second date. There was no sex exchanged and we just talked for 5hrs. With every date I am learning more.

Hi Joseph,

You gave me a lot to think about. I feel no better than a whore at times. I feel like no guy wants to marry a whore. a wife would be pure and innocent. I feel ashamed. I feel unworthy of love. I feel like guys can use me until the real thing comes along. I notice I lie to myself a lot and let whoever take the reigns of the relationship because I don’t want them to think I’m too pushy and trying to hard. I really don’t know how to behave. I know I can be myself but sometimes I’m worried they can’t handle me. I don’t know why it’s easier for me to make friends then to date.

Boyfriend material? I found this interesting. I don’t know what boyfriend material would be. Husband material would be a partner, a best friend, someone who could be a decent father. Honest, hardworking, loyal.

Hi Joseph! Yeah I have been working on my self worth but I don’t feel at times wife or girlfriend material.