Thank you Anita.

I have told him so many times before and he knows it too. I just feel that he isn’t putting enough effort into trying. Although he feels otherwise..

So each time I try to tell him something which I need him to do, it just comes off as resentful because in my head, I tell myself that this is something which he knows he has to do but isnt doing it. So for example, if I tell him to stop playing, it doesn’t come from a loving place (me wanting to spend time with him), but rather, me getting angry because he doesnt know when to stop playing.

Hello Anita.

I cannot let him know that I checked because I snooped on his phone before and he flipped out. As i am typing this out, i realise that i should stop doing this because nothing good comes of it.
About his online habits, I guess i have to try to understand that it is a guy thing. That they will always indulge in such stuff. He has never searched for anything like that when i am around.

Some examples of how i feel he shows his concern:
-He gives me massages once in a while when I am tired from work (although not so much now..)
-He always listens to me when i request him to do things (for example, when he is playing games late into the night and i tell him to stop and come to bed w me, he will). however, when i do this, i feel like i am controlling him and i dont really like it. I feel that he should make the effort to make time with me at his own freewill
-He calls me everynight before i sleep
-He is respectful of me and he remains level headed even when we fight and is careful not say hurtful things to me even when we argue

Can you advise me how to express to him that I need him to show more concern towards me without coming off as needy? He did mention before that he sometimes feel like he doesnt know how to keep me happy. He feels that he has done everything he can but I am still unhappy.