“Any person, regardless of the circumstances, can decide what shall become of them—mentally and spiritually.” – Viktor Frankl (Holocaust survivor) Man’s Search for Meaning

AW,

The fact that you have found happiness despite the abuse, the trauma, the insecurity, the memories that surface when you’re forced to act on a brave decision (the “double-edged sword”) makes you a warrior. And as cliché as it sounds, you have only gotten here by following your heart.

I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can’t. I can only remind you of the heroine you are to every young girl and boy that has experienced sexual abuse, and the obligation you have to be true to yourself and them.

You are 25, young but with so much to offer to this world. You sound bright, optimistic, you’re writing a book and giving speeches—but let this be the last time in this life you feel torn over the garbage that man imposed on you. And as a writer myself, there is only one way I know how: feeling my painful past in every inch of my body and soul, sitting at the keyboard, remaining in this damaged state until my catharsis has cried out onto another chapter, essay, or poem.

If your heart is telling you to open the flood gates, pull the lever. Let the world know what you’ve been through and drown it with courage. And even if you don’t mention it to anyone, you’ll always have the chapter and speech ready to inspire others.

– Sun

Ale,

The phrase “letting go” can be interpreted in a variety of ways, but my understanding is to become the person you want to be (a controlled, non-impulsive individual), you must let go of fighting against yourself and your thoughts, a basis for overthinking.

Every decision starts from pure feeling, perhaps one of boredom, anxiety, sadness, happiness, nostalgia, intimacy, etc., and when paired with a thought an action is created. There is no mindlessness unless you have achieved a level of “self” through certain practices such as meditation and yoga, in which your choices do not require as much thinking since vices tend to lose their dirty charm when the mind is calm and focused.

As Anita stated previously, if you find yourself stressed, reaching for the cigarette box and lighter, beginning to think those sexual desires that will inevitably lead to a body stimulation, worrying about what your therapist said and what the “right” way of acting is, then take 30 minutes to refrain from doing anything hasty and walk, watch an interesting video or read/write a thought-provoking post, and allow yourself to find different ways to deal with life.

Know that your impulsion comes from the need to control your situation as quickly as possible, and if you give yourself a chance to feel the emotions you are currently feeling (good and bad), the smoke and orgasms will no longer be the crutches you need to stand.

Regards,
Sun