July 15, 2017 at 8:54 am #158244
So, my history start with an panic pain 3 hears ago, when I started a psicological teraphy. In this terapy the principal problems that emerged were RIGIDITY, CONTROL, JUDGMENT. The main advise of my teraphist are that I have to be more smart and light in my life, love my self, be more positive and, obviously live in the present and live MY life. But I have a problem, manytime when I try to let go my thoughts I fall in a lot of Uncontrollable impulses, like smoke sigarettes, masturbation when I’m alone and start to be negative. So, few minutes ago I had an illumination: let go is a good advise for me? I think that have the control of our life is the base of a good life, so we can choose everythink with the mindfullness. If we let it go we can’t control and manage our life and we fall in the mechanism of abitudes.
What are you thinking about this thought? Tell me about.July 15, 2017 at 9:31 am #158268
I am not clear about what you mean by letting go, letting go of your thoughts: was that an advice you received from your therapist? What does it mean to you?
I agree that “the base of a good life (is to) choose everything with the mindfulness”, that is to make Mindful Choices instead of Impulsive Choices.
anitaJuly 15, 2017 at 10:43 am #158284
The meaning of my therapist’s affermation is to not think a lot about a think and let it go.. maybe is about my thoughts???July 15, 2017 at 11:42 am #158288
Making mindful choices requires thinking. Thinking that goes into making mindful choices is effective thinking, thinking that lead you to behavior that works for you.
On the other hand, there is a lot of thinking that doesn’t get you anywhere good, doesn’t lead you to behavior that works for you. That thinking- better substitute it with effective thinking.
So maybe the idea is to let go of ineffective thinking (the second kind) and substituting it with effective thinking.
anitaJuly 16, 2017 at 3:18 am #158316
But is not simple, in particoular when you are stressed… Is impossibile to combinate a lot of thinking when you are in a part of your life of studying and stress. I know that we have to THINK that is more simple. The only thought that is simple makes our more light. Are you agree with sentence?July 16, 2017 at 6:11 am #158322
I understood your first two lines and agree. When we are stressed- it is not the time to think! It is very important, when stressed to wait until calm before thinking. When stressed, it is like having lots of smoke blowing inside our brains, we can not see clearly. Our view is blocked by smoke. We have to wait for the smoke to dissipate before we can see, before we can think.
It is this simple: the more you think when stressed, the worse it is for you. It is just… not a good time to think. It is time to relax, take a walk, a hot (or cold) shower, do something distracting that is not harmful. Go back to thinking later.
anitaJuly 16, 2017 at 1:41 pm #158388
The phrase “letting go” can be interpreted in a variety of ways, but my understanding is to become the person you want to be (a controlled, non-impulsive individual), you must let go of fighting against yourself and your thoughts, a basis for overthinking.
Every decision starts from pure feeling, perhaps one of boredom, anxiety, sadness, happiness, nostalgia, intimacy, etc., and when paired with a thought an action is created. There is no mindlessness unless you have achieved a level of “self” through certain practices such as meditation and yoga, in which your choices do not require as much thinking since vices tend to lose their dirty charm when the mind is calm and focused.
As Anita stated previously, if you find yourself stressed, reaching for the cigarette box and lighter, beginning to think those sexual desires that will inevitably lead to a body stimulation, worrying about what your therapist said and what the “right” way of acting is, then take 30 minutes to refrain from doing anything hasty and walk, watch an interesting video or read/write a thought-provoking post, and allow yourself to find different ways to deal with life.
Know that your impulsion comes from the need to control your situation as quickly as possible, and if you give yourself a chance to feel the emotions you are currently feeling (good and bad), the smoke and orgasms will no longer be the crutches you need to stand.
SunJuly 17, 2017 at 1:33 am #158474
Thank you to all for reply my answer. Sun I agree about the last two paragraphs….When we are calm with ourself we can do the best choise for us. And about the control about everything, also my teraphist said something like this, so I think is important to stay in the moment for this reason! Thank you