Thank you for all your great insights Anita! Till next time.

Hey Anita! Again thank you for your response.

Well based on what he has said in the past, he’s not in the place to work on us because he is so engrossed in this film program he is involved with. It’s almost like a cult like setting where he just works with his team of 12 others and they are filming like 6 days a week. He has said that he really wants to put all of his focus into this film project they are working on. And when we broke up our relationship was VERY complicated. There were lots of hurt feelings and honestly it was all very heavy. I think both of us have a slight fear that when we get back together we will again feel some of that heaviness as we may have to work through some stuff, as everyone has to do in relationships. Me and Nic are both very dramatic and we both feel a lot and everything. Which is why we experienced some of the greatest feelings in life together and some of the hardest. I think for these reasons he doesn’t want to get back into everything right now while we live across the country and are very involved in new school programs.

Also, one of the reasons we broke up was because he was having second thoughts about marriage in general. And at the time I was very dead set on marriage and us setting a date. I put a lot of pressure on him for a lot of things. Honestly, I look back and don’t feel I was the best partner. Maybe for some of these reasons he also feels he is not ready because he is thinking I have those same expectations as before. And at this point I really don’t. I just want to be with him because being with him was the best part of my life and I miss him everyday. I would like to just sit with him and talk and watch movies and dance. I wouldn’t even care about getting married like I did before. I’m not as attached to that idea of marriage.

It’s just hard because I can’t even tell him all of this stuff because “he’s not ready.” It sucks. I guess I just need to move on and if it is meant to be it will be.

Hey Anita, I’d love some feedback if you have any. I’m having a really hard time with this whole situation. I recently discovered on social media that Nic is actually seeing a girl in the town that he’s living in for school. It hurt me so I emailed him and told him that if he is building a relationship with someone I need to know so I can let go of ALL the hope I have for me and him in the future. He emailed back and said he is NOT building anything with anyone and that he meant everything he said and feels we will be together one day. But again that he isn’t in a place for us right now. Anyways, the problem is … my heart. I understand the situation and that he is temporarily seeing someone. I get it. We all get lonely. I have dated other guys during this time. But it hurts me when I see this new girl posting pictures of him. And it’s very clear she is really liking him. I haven’t dated anyone that posts pictures of me. I haven’t even gotten to that point with anyone. She’s a photographer and she posts pictures of Nic all the time and it breaks my heart and makes me miss him so much. Reminds me of when I used to be the one photographing him. Makes me want to be the one taking his picture now. It’s very painful. I wish this hurt would just go away. It’s too much.

Anita, you are so great for your responses. I received an email back from Nic saying he still has all the same feelings for me that he ever had and he can’t wait for the day when we are back together. He also said he is not in a place to try and work on us right now. He said that he doesn’t want this to hinder me from moving forward if I meet someone else before he is ready to get back together. This puts me in a miserable place because how can I move forward with the hope that he is giving me that one day we will be together again? I just don’t know what to do but it is very painful and feels like a heartbreak all over again.

Anita,

Thank you for your wise words! I think I am a bit afraid just because of how sad I was during everything before. But you’re right, I do think it is so worth it to have courage and move forward with faith in the relationship instead of fear.