Hi all,

I came across your forum today as I am having this battle in my mind and perhaps you will be able to give me some advice.

Just a bit of background. I have been dating a seperated (2 and a half years) man for 7 months. His divorce will be finalised next week. We both have children. I am a widow with a almost 11 year old son and he has a daughter of 10 years old.

Our first fight was a few weeks ago about the children. Instead of him calling me or making an appointment to discuss the situation I was attacked via multiple texts received.

The kids got into a quarrel and did not come to us when it happened. They both kept quite but when they got into the car she started crying saying my son hurt her and instead of him asking what happened before he just comforted her dropped her at her mom and when he got home he started with the texts.

When I asked my son what happened he had a completely different story. Yes kids can also make up stories but I really believed him. My son was attacked where he said my son is a problem and that he does not have any respect for him.

I apologized and said we need to discuss this in person. At first he was not happy with me engaging but after a while he accepted it and we made a date to discuss the situation.

With the discussion we both said what was on our minds. He admitted he was wrong and that he will make more effort from his side to get to know my son. When I left it felt like there was progress.

I must also mention that my son suffer from a rare disease, the same as what my husband passed away of so yes with this he is more emotional than kids his age but he is also more mature than kids his age.

We all went away for a weekend and my son sleeps with a teddy when he sleeps out for security. His daughter loves teddies and have like hundreds. When we all went to bed my son did not want to sleep but he did not say why. Being exhausted I told him to go to bed as I need to sleep. The next morning when I went into the rooms to check that they cleaned and made their beds I found my son’s teddy in her room. I took it back to his room.

The next evening we were all have a nice time my son made a friend and they played like boys do it’s rough. She started to play along. The friend got up and started talking to us while my son and his daughter were still playing.

Then I heard my son saying please stop kicking me in the ribs. He said that twice. The he took her feet and held it down. Then she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Then my boyfriend jumped up going after her.

After a while he came back said nothing and was quite the whole evening. We all went to bed. The last day before we left to go home we were all in the swimming pool. I got into the smaller pool as I did not want to wet my hair. She then came jumping in next to me. I lauand also asked her to please not do it again as I did not want to wet my hair thus I got into this pool. She said okay.

When her dad came to me to talk to me as the kids were all playing and she saw us together she came and jumped in next to us wetting my completely. I then addressed her and said I did ask you nicely to not jump next to me to wet my hair. Now my hair is soaked. No one said anything.

We left and went home. A few days later we had a date night again without the kids. I then addressed everything that I noticed the weekend to get his feedback. Then he started bringing up everything that happened the few weeks before when she went home crying and something that happenedin December that I did not know at all. And I said calmly I am not talking about then I am talking about what happened the past weekend.

We managed to talk everything out and I went home. We celebrated her 10th birthday party last week. The kids went to play games and my son lost and she kept on saying yes I won and my son lost she is better. Because it was her birthday I just said it’s not nice to say that to anyone. Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose and thats okay. Then we left. When we got home he said he is at home and we texted a bit then he asked me via text if we can move in together.

I just said that it’s still not the time due to his divorce not being finalized he just said okay.

Sorry for the book. My question is did I make a mistake getting involved with him? What am I missing?

I really like him but not sure if he will accept my son and how much time do I give him to try and getting to know my son better?