Thank you Anita and NYCArtist.  I appreciate both of you.   And I agree wholeheartedly with all you have said.  I have made it my mission in life to always see the positive in all situations and that’s why this situation has really gotten to me.  I have lost my faith as a result.  I don’t ask for recognition or want anything in return for what I do.    The little guys I help cannot repay me.  They were never meant to.   I take care of cats that are abandoned,  born wild, etc..   I have seen so much suffering and don’t understand why innocent lives suffer.  I do my best but no amount of time, efforts or money fixes it.  I am burned out and heartbroken.   My husband is tired of spending money on something that doesn’t pay back.  I understand that.  I work and all my money goes to their food, meds, etc.  We fight about them.  It isn’t fair to my husband.  I don’t mind giving up things if it eases suffering but he doesn’t see it that way.  He isn’t wrong, just differing opinions.   I have many cats that I will have to have put down because they have no where to go.  I am too burned out and tired of fighting with my husband about wasting money.   My heart is broken.   Mostly because I have given up on them.  I have to live with knowing I gave up.  I was never the person who looked upon a situation and would say “isn’t that just awful ”  and walk away thinking that such acknowledgement was a form of help.   I have always done what I could where I was with what I had.  It made me happy.   I am now so lost.  I am desperately trying to find the good in this situation.