Dear Anita,

Yes, please help me. I appreciate it a lot.

I cant stop thinking that he will give compliments to her now, be with her, share everything with her and not with me. I cant accept that he wont be part of my life anymore and that he is not my best friend anymore,  no matter how hard I try.

I think I will never find someone to love me and take care of me like he did

I started crying, I never saw this from that perspective. All I did these month was crying over him, losing someone who loved me and took care of me for once, someone who said I am the one. These days I am crying of the thought that they are happy and she is the one , not me..

how can I work on this? I really want to feel better, because right now I do think that if I was more physically active and going out more and prettier , I would still have him. Right now all I think is that if I was a bit like her.. at least a bit, I would still have him. I also dont think I will find someone who will love me like they did and who will take care of me like they did.. and I cant keep crying everyday, I dont have focus, I cant concentrate on anything else but how they will start living together and be happier than we were and that he will start questioning why did he stayed so long in a relationship with me..

I think that If I see them engaged or living together, I wil kill myself. I cant handle that

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.

Dear Anita,

I never felt like they were giving the attention to someone else, because they didnt. I also never felt jealous at other girls for getting attention from their parents or having something I didnt. I have an older sister and she has been through the same. One thing that I know for fact is from my mother is the feeling that everything is my fault and that no matter how good I am, I am never good enough. I would get A’s and she wouldn’t be satisfied and would give an example of someone else who did something better. Or I dont know, for example five years ago when my sister broke up with her boyfriend she said ‘oh what did you do this time, did they left you because you are stubborn and a bit overweight?’ Unlike my sister I knew how to conflict her about comments like this, but they were there while growing up. I recognize that now and during college.

And I have learn to do everything by myself, meaning check my own homework, find scholarships throughout education, choose my university and study field, pay bills, learning how to cope with loses throughout my life on my own. And I was, I think I still am, okay with that. That is why I connected with him so much, because for the first time I learned to lean on someone else, I learned to share and I learned to ask for help. I used to do everything by myself before and by falling in love with him and he becoming my best friend I said hey, relationships can work see? We were always talking how easy it is between us, how we are soulmates and we have everything planned about our future. I went through a lot with him because he also has a hard family situation

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.

Leaving me , and leaving me for another woman. We had plans that were just about to be realised, our families were close, we were best friends and its not just in my imagination. I have like the anxious feeling that he met his soulmate while he was in a relationship with me, who is my complete opposite and realised that she is more worth it to fight over and that complete opposite is what he actually wanted, not me. I am scared because they got close so easily that quick. And I am deeply hurt that both of them talk about me in a bad way. He says its only her but I dont know what is he telling her so that she can talk that way and be comfortable to talk that way about his ex relationship. We were closer than what this end made us look, I feel like she is the girlfriend and I am the third party.. also him telling me that he still sees future only with me.. i cant accept the fact that he is happy with her

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.
• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Anna.

I feel like they’re soulmates because he choose her over me, risking to lose everything we planned and had, even for the second time now in February. He didn’t fight for me as much as he did for her. Even despite the arguing and bad words – he chooses her. And she is also very determined to have him…

I am so scared, I keep dreaming of them, during the day I keep imagining them. She will be getting goodmorning/goodnight texts, she will now about his everyday life or deepest secrets. I wont be the one he shares all this with anymore. I miss knowing him, I miss the little things he did.

I am reading a lot about breakups and situations like mine, and I am following the advices as much as I can but it is not getting better. I feel like I hate her and like I want to punch him, and I dont wanna be like this. I dont want to be a hateful person.

And I am so afraid that right now I am telling myself that I am okay, and then after some time, I see a picture or I see them together and I think I will fall aparat and will have to pass this proccess again.

I can’t seem to accept the fact that he may met the girl he wants to be during he was with me. How do I start doing that?

I am not a person who gets attached or close to people easily, but he is. And he is 25 but she is 30, so I feel like if they start a relationship it will lead to moving together or marriage and I cant take that, I cant live with that reality.