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I started crying, I never saw this from that perspective. All I did these month was crying over him, losing someone who loved me and took care of me for once, someone who said I am the one. These days I am crying of the thought that they are happy and she is the one , not me..
how can I work on this? I really want to feel better, because right now I do think that if I was more physically active and going out more and prettier , I would still have him. Right now all I think is that if I was a bit like her.. at least a bit, I would still have him. I also dont think I will find someone who will love me like they did and who will take care of me like they did.. and I cant keep crying everyday, I dont have focus, I cant concentrate on anything else but how they will start living together and be happier than we were and that he will start questioning why did he stayed so long in a relationship with me..
I think that If I see them engaged or living together, I wil kill myself. I cant handle that
Dear Anita,
I never felt like they were giving the attention to someone else, because they didnt. I also never felt jealous at other girls for getting attention from their parents or having something I didnt. I have an older sister and she has been through the same. One thing that I know for fact is from my mother is the feeling that everything is my fault and that no matter how good I am, I am never good enough. I would get A’s and she wouldn’t be satisfied and would give an example of someone else who did something better. Or I dont know, for example five years ago when my sister broke up with her boyfriend she said ‘oh what did you do this time, did they left you because you are stubborn and a bit overweight?’ Unlike my sister I knew how to conflict her about comments like this, but they were there while growing up. I recognize that now and during college.
And I have learn to do everything by myself, meaning check my own homework, find scholarships throughout education, choose my university and study field, pay bills, learning how to cope with loses throughout my life on my own. And I was, I think I still am, okay with that. That is why I connected with him so much, because for the first time I learned to lean on someone else, I learned to share and I learned to ask for help. I used to do everything by myself before and by falling in love with him and he becoming my best friend I said hey, relationships can work see? We were always talking how easy it is between us, how we are soulmates and we have everything planned about our future. I went through a lot with him because he also has a hard family situation
Leaving me , and leaving me for another woman. We had plans that were just about to be realised, our families were close, we were best friends and its not just in my imagination. I have like the anxious feeling that he met his soulmate while he was in a relationship with me, who is my complete opposite and realised that she is more worth it to fight over and that complete opposite is what he actually wanted, not me. I am scared because they got close so easily that quick. And I am deeply hurt that both of them talk about me in a bad way. He says its only her but I dont know what is he telling her so that she can talk that way and be comfortable to talk that way about his ex relationship. We were closer than what this end made us look, I feel like she is the girlfriend and I am the third party.. also him telling me that he still sees future only with me.. i cant accept the fact that he is happy with her
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 