Thank you both for your input. My logic sais to me do your thing ley her do hers and if theres still interest or enough love left to see if we could pick things back up in 2 years once im back in the same city. My logic has never led me astray as long as i can remember i just wish i could use that logic to reason with my heart. She is now following me on social media and we talk most days but i refuse to follow her at this stage to prevent the hurt. Yes its true if she wanted to be with me she would be. Logic in a nutshell. Im not sure how i feel about her coming over to see me later this year.. she also wants to bring her kids one weekend which one side of me wants nothing more but the other knows the hurt that will be involved. She did say it will not secure her, so im thinking and hoping it wont push me back to square 1.

Katie,

I havnt responded to her text yet. She doesnt want to be my friend after it all but the problem is im still in love with her so its gonna take me alot of time to be able to talk to her without emotion attached and hurt. I also have alot of hurt and anger relating sround the fact she was dating a month or two after we split… makes me wonder how much she actually cared. And all the rest of emotion around her being with another man. So its hard for me to not be angry.

Hello katie.

Thankyou for your reply i really appreciate it!. I am doing better now ive even been on one date even though i wasnt really into it. For the first time last weekend i was happy abd content with my own company plus i went and did a 21km obstacle course to clear my mind which worked… i have been thinking about her still but now there isnt as much heartache its more upsetting if that makes sense. I still miss her every single day and wonder who shes with and what shes doing and if she is thinking about me.. but my recovery is slow but steady. We havnt spoken in almost a week. Im just waiting for that random message. My mates trying to set me up with a girl who i think is amazing and i hope she sais yes to my date offer. I just hope ik healed enough to search for the connection. Im pretty sure my ex has moved on so im doing the same… i have no other choice. I hope i can be her friend after my love and want for her fades..

And thank you diego for your tips! I apprecuate it. I shall try your tips.

I have had a small development so its been 5 days into my no contact and i was feeling goodish. Then randomly my ex likes an instagram photo of mine with my shirt off.. and we dont have each other added on it.. so i was getting the impression she was looking st my profile.. but why would she like that particular photo?. Why would she want me to know shes looking at it?. Then 30 mins later she messages me saying hey thomas had any coffees yet today? Because she knows i drink alot in the morning. I ignore it… 15 mins later she messages again asking how my weekend was and what i did… i ignored it for about 10 hours and finally replied saying my weekend was good i had drinks out then at a friends house.. my message had a few things in it but she relied highligting *friends house* with a tongue emote… after we finished the conversarion she ended with i was just checking in gonna read now talk later… im very confused as to what shes trying to achieve. She knows im heartbroken and in a bad place and i want her back so im thinking she either wants to mend her guilt for leaving me, genuinely cares how i am and if im doing well or she is still in love with me and wants to keep tabs and even potentially keeping me at arms length.. any thoughts?

Thanks

Thomas.

My first relationship my ex ended up coming back to me after about 8 months but i knew it was because she had guys treating her badly abd she realised how much she valued me and wanted me back and i foolishly said yes. Im hoping the same happens if i go no contact she might miss me and realise she wants me back. But im positive she wont. A week at a time is working but at this stage im going one day at a time and times going so damn slow. I have so many regrets about this. But life doesnt rewind. I know life has good things for me. But i thought she was one of them. Thankyou for your time and advice i really appreciate it. Tough times ahead.

I agree  Craig,

Problem is i dont want to lose her from my life because we were best friends and lovers. She said our hearts are bonded forever because we were so deeply in love during our relationship and because i care so much about her i wana be here for her incase she needs me. I guess im putting her above my own healing progression and i know thats wrong. My problem is i never put myseld above the people i love. Maybe a month or two no contact. Its just hard because i spoke to her every single day about everything and she was my support through all my life problems. Im very confused and lost in what i should do. My head tells me move on and no contact until i feel i can talk as friends. But my heart sais do not sever the cord because my heart misses hers. She sais she misses me and is lonely but its not enough for her to do long distance. Im probably babbling on now in what might seem like a whinging episode but im so very conflicted with life at the moment. Everything throughout my day just reminds me of her and its killing me. In the end after all this i just hope i can find a love like her again. I keep thinking about all the things i did wrong and shoulda fixed. All the things i regret and blame for it all even though the only reason we arnt together is the distance.