I have been through two very similar relationships, right down to getting angry about gifts, an affair with someone who loved me, and her ruining our holidays. The main difference is I refused to allow myself to put up with it, so they were far shorter.

How did I get over it? You have incredible insight, but in my opinion need to tell yourself this and realise it’s true.

Your wife doesn’t love you or care about you in the slightest. If you die tomorrow, or got sick with cancer, it would still be all about her. The nice side of her that you fell in love with never existed – you fell in love with an illusion, and one she still rolls out occasionally I would imagine.

If you can accept and understand that this woman doesn’t love you, but more importantly doesn’t CARE about you, then the next logical step is to realise what a fool you are to hang around.

You might be able to ask yourself why you would you stay with someone who doesn’t care?

The reason I think I know you haven’t accepted the simple and obvious fact she doesn’t give a toss about you in the slightest, is because you’re still trying to rationalize her behaviourin terms of how you, or a normal caring human being might behave. She isn’t normal, or caring. That side of her is entirely phoney.

She can and never will realise or admit what she has done. Trying to talk to her is a fools errand, she isn’t capable of understanding you or seeing things from your point of view, nor does she even want to. She will not even see you as a human being, and is far too busy worrying about herself and her own world to care in the slightest about you and yours.

As far as this other woman goes, you’ll never be happy with her either, if you would be, you’d be with her. You will forever associate her with your wife, and it will always cause you anxiety. Finding someone new has never been an effective way for me to get away from an abuser.

You need to read this message, and leave right now. Don’t waste another minute on this psychopath. You will never ever get the sorry you are yearning for, unless it’s as a way to manipulate you. This woman will never change, she is who she is. So, walk out the door right now, go to the bank, draw out some money, and go on a holiday to France immediately. You are a free human being, and you were born to do as you please. Leave this woman, remain single for as long as possible, and never ever let another woman have this level of control over you ever again.