Hey there,
Have you ever considered that your looks aren’t everything and that there is more to you than your physical appearance? Clearly your ex and his family were not right for you, especially since they seemed to consider your appearance, above everything, else the most important factor for marriage.
And that once you find someone you truly like, their appearance won’t matter so much in the end either? So in the case of this new guy, if you’re not feeling anything for him and if there’s no chemistry (which I agree that there should be), and you can’t see past his ‘looks’, maybe you should tell him that you don’t feel for him the way he does for you. Maybe you’re partly confused about this new bloke because you feel pressured to be married? Or that you only feel like your worth something if you’re married?
The truth is, whether you’re married or not, you are worth more than what you think you are, and that physical appearance is only part of you, and should not be your defining trait. There’s also no point leading this new guy on, the longer you go without letting him go, the harder he’s going to fall. And everyone gets hurt in the end. If you deal with it now, you can both get on with your lives. Also there are unresolved issues with your ex, which you need to figure out for yourself. Like why you feel the way you feel etc. But babe, I have to say that him and his family are not worth your worry at all! Although it may take you your own time to get over him, just know that there will be someone else better for you out there. Maybe not right away, but in time. Just be open to that possibility : )

And why is it so important that you find someone to get married to straight away? Maybe you need to find other things in your life that are important to you, things that give meaning to your life. Focus on you and your many talents, which I’m sure you have, other than just your looks. How someone looks on the outside does not always reflect who they are on the inside.
Anyway, once you start focusing on your life and open yourself up to the million possibilities you have in front of you; the right person will come along without you even having to try, and things will click into place, when the time is right. Right now, just enjoy what you have, and all the things you can do while you’re single!
As Jon Zabat-Zinn so perfectly puts it; ‘Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time’.
Good-luck!