Have you ever considered, rather than suffering from depression (curious to know if this was self diagnosed or by a doctor) you might in fact suffer from trauma related and attachment related issues that you may be able to heal? I would also like to know what you consider “healthy” or “a good person”? These are more rhetorical than actual questions. I have spent ten years digging deep into myself and my “failures” or “inability to fit in”. Now that I’ve grown I’m thrilled to death that I don’t fit in. I have read through most of the comments here so I don’t know if this has been brought to your attention, but, you might benefit from a personal counselor who understands and can perform E.M.D.R. as well as mindfulness and trauma therapy. My path brought me to a counselor to deal with anger. Turns out I wasn’t angry. And in some ways I had every right to be angry. I was 30 years old, sole provider to my family working 7 days a week, my family was miserable and scared of me, my wife spent 2 years cheating on me, and I still thought it was my fault. Please look into finding someone to help you on your path. Your sister might be right being angry with your parents. You never learned to have fun. I didn’t either. I’m now 40 and have had the best five years of my life and it keeps getting better. If you have any questions please ask.