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Isabella

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  • #154622
    Isabella
    Participant

    yes, it just is a gut feeling that it isn’t the end. we still talk and he makes sure i’m good… all the love we shared between us, and the connection couldn’t just disappear… we were madly inlove. well i was and still am. i just know this is a really hard time for the both of us, with life starting and everything getting so real. so hopefully everything works out. i’m trying to just breathe, let the days go day by day.. it just hurts so much. definitely when your mind knows and understands but your heart yearns for what it wants. 

    #154592
    Isabella
    Participant

    I know this is something that will change me for the better…. But this is one thing I never thought would end.. and if it were to end it would feel right, this doesn’t feel right to me. it doesn’t feel finished.  We are attending college and the same college… I just thought this was something that will last a while… it wasn’t passion tearing us apart, opportunity… it was just him.  I just feel confused…. I know in the end, it works or not, I will be a stronger person.. This hurts more than a fucking car crashing into me lmao.. But my gut just feels so off… like this isn’t it….

    I hope all your troubles and heartbreak comes to realization and you find who you are MEANT to be with.  And someone loves you more than you have ever been loved before.  Sending light and love to your mind, heart and your soul.

    #154588
    Isabella
    Participant

    in conclusion, I wasted the first two years of high school being someone I never wanted to be… then found who I wanted to be and how strong I was.. and someone I knew for so long, we hit it off and became something I never thought would happen or I never thought I would feel.

    we waited a few months to see if it was something serious and we were both true.. and then for the next two years i was inlove.  still am

    #154586
    Isabella
    Participant

    Very Personal.. But the beginning of highschool I “fell” for someone.  Who was my first everything, my first kiss etc.  I had a super strong attachment towards him for about two years.. where anytime I would see him my heart sank to my stomach.  But he NEVER committed to me… it was like false love..  I was very closed minded, and stubborn I refused to let go or move on… I really don’t know who that was.. but I got over that and became so much stronger.  I just never thought the guy I actually fell involve with, as my new and improved smarter self, would ever hurt me like this… I don’t know.

    #154584
    Isabella
    Participant

    wow makes sense.. it hurts so bad to realize and to believe but you’re right.  He is very hard headed and since he made this move I don’t think he would just let go of it and come back, even if he did miss me..  wow thats a new eye opener because thats exactly what I never thought.. Immaturity, I just thought maybe he was better than that.  With everything we have been through, he just seems so mature but sometimes you just don’t realize.. wow.  I want him back so bad, I want the love back.. or I just want to be able to move on. it feels so hard, and so confusing.  Thank you for replying and showing me this perspective.  He needs time to grow himself.

    I guess the hope just lingers within me,  before we became serious for real, we would go on and off as best friends and then randomly talking and falling for each other.  We were young so some stupid stuff would happen and then we would stop talking for months, then some weird stuff in life would help us drift back to each other…. I guess I just think that may happen.  The love is so fresh in me, I just have so much hope… I have to let go of that.

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