Forum Replies Created
October 5, 2021 at 1:06 am #387088
I’ve had a lot of therapy in the past but nothing recently as I’ve been doing relatively well. Also, I don’t find it useful to continuously relive my past. It’s emotionally exhausting and takes away from my present. Plus its expensive.
I know that having emotions is normal but sometimes my emotions are most intense than usual….
Thank you for all your advice… I will continue to post, thank you for listening. These posts have kept me grounded.October 4, 2021 at 12:40 pm #387066
Yes I feel like this a lot. I know somewhere in my brain that it’s so unreasonable for me to expect my partner to fulfill all of my emotional needs, especially those caused by my trauma. But I really am alone, I don’t have any people in my life I can rely on. I don’t have family or friends. I don’t have very good self esteem to make new friends.
I wish I could stop getting triggered like this because each time it happens it created a rift in our relationship.October 4, 2021 at 6:07 am #387042
So when I say I reacted poorly, I mean I just said something like ‘oh so you invited your ex’s family but not me when you say I’m supposed to be your family? Dont ever say that I’m your family because you don’t treat me like family, I’m not family, I’m just your girlfriend. And don’t ever make me speak to your mum and sister either, I’m done playing nice with them’. Or something to that effect.
I am ashamed, I was angry and I didn’t really control my words.
Anita, yes you are right, I feel so very triggered and lately I have been thinking about my own family more. Even after 10 years, I feel such a void without a loving family, something I never had but always crave.
my parents kicked me out when I was in my early twenties because I didn’t follow the religion anymore and I wanted to live an independent life. What hurts more recently is that my own siblings who I thought could understand me, have also shut me out. I feel so isolated and rejected by them too.October 4, 2021 at 3:06 am #387032
Hi TeaK, Anita,
Thank you for your response. He is back now, I didn’t really bring anything up intentionally, but he was talking about the funeral and told me that his ex’s mum and sister was at the funeral. This hurt me so much and I reacted poorly, I was angry, he again said I was a narcissist. He does call me that often and realised maybe he is gaslighting me. Every time I try to raise my own feelings he makes me feel so guilty about it, and calls me a narcissist.
I am so hurt and confused, and feeling guilty for feeling sad when he is the one that should be sad. I have no outlet to express myself, except these posts.
Thank you for listening to me.September 27, 2021 at 7:16 am #386743
Thank you for your insight.
I haven’t asked him yet but you are both right, as my own family did reject me a few years ago and him not including me made me feel rejected again.
I understand his intentions were well, I will speak to him about this face to face.
thank youSeptember 25, 2021 at 3:06 am #386706
Thank you for your response. I briefly mentioned that I was feeling sad the night before he flew. I said that I felt disappointed that he didn’t think to invite, he immediately understood and was even looking up last minute flights for me. He’s an amazing person and he would never hurt me intentionally.
But I still feel betrayed and made me realise that he doesn’t really see me being part of that part of his life. Am I reading too much into this?
thank you for the advice, I think asking that question might be helpful for me to understand his thought process, but I am not sure I will be able to do it without feeling hurt and sad.September 24, 2021 at 3:41 pm #386683
Thank you Anita.
usually I would ask more questions to try abs understand it but he he left already and it just feels like it’s not a good time to create any issues so I haven’t really said much and asked to drop it.
he says he feels really guilty for not inviting me.
I just feel really abandoned and lonely (I haven’t told him this) and feel like he’s not thought about me at all. Is it a bad time to communicate this?
thank you for your advice and thoughtful response.