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    Hi Wendykhile

    Did you say you moved abroad? Where is your ex now? Has he said anything about wanting to be with YOU? How long have you been with he new guy?

    You might need to let us know a bit more details.

    Just FYI about my situation from when i wrote the original post – 2 years in and so much has happened. I’d sacked off both guys and went on holiday with my bestie. I had the best holiday romance which cemented my move on from my ex and my “casual” other guy. I really enjoyed life for the past 2 years like i haven’t done in many years before then. I’m not with a beautiful woman who is my best friend and truly the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’d be interested to find out how the other ladies resolved their situations.

    Here to help!




    Hi Katie


    You are not alone in feeling this way – we all went through what you’re going through. Trying to look a certain way that falls within the social norms of “pretty”, hanging out with people seemingly more attractive than us etc… I was in the exact same situation as you when I was growing up and then well into my 20’s. I hated myself for the way i looked mainly because all my other friends were skinnier, prettier, smarter… you name it. Not gonna lie – it took a lot of daily affirmations and work on myself to finally feel confident, sexy, strong and fully accepting of myself.
    My advice to you is this: believe that EVERYONE has hang ups about their own bodies. Even your good looking friend from high school. None of us are perfect and all of us went through a lack of self esteem at many points in our lives. Also… everyone thinks that the “grass is greener ” – curvaceous girls want to be skinny, skinny girls want to be curvy, tall girls want to be short and vice versa. Trust me – many models you see in magazines went through school wishing they were short 🙂
    Here are a few things that I hope will help you feel a little more confident:
    Search for things within yourself that you know are good and you love. It could be anything about you – your talents, your kindness, your sensitivity, your passion for something, your eyes, your waist… and focus on that. Remind yourself of it every day, 1000 times a day. Hone those good traits.
    Affirmations: every day, every time you’re in front of the mirror if you need to. Think of an affirmation that will help you and repeat it until you believe it. Louise Hay has some really helpful affirmations if you’re not sure what to pick.
    Tiny Buddha articles: these are so helpful. They really helped me at my lowest points. Read them with understanding. Print those that speak to you the most and carry them with you to read whenever you feel a wobble in confidence.
    Meditation or prayer: really helps to calm the mind and get over any stresses of every day life you may have incurred. 10 mins a day makes all the difference.
    Self Esteem classes/app/books/podcasts – if there are any classes in your area that you can attend to help boost your confidence – do them. Meanwhile download a podcast or an app that will speak to you and help you believe in yourself and believe that you are beautiful, Strong and smart and do not need to seek validation in other people.
    And lastly – when you want to eat that cake, eat the cake. Sometimes chocolate (or cake) is the only answer 🙂

    Also a little thought that always helped me when i was next to some stunning person was thinking to myself:  “she/he/they really have a great <insert trait> BUT I have an amazing <insert trait>” . This allowed me to appreciate the other person for who they are and whatever physical trait i was nearly envious of but without chipping away at your self esteem. Because you are not that person. You are you – and you have good traits and bad traits – just like everyone else (including Adriana Lima). One day you will find someone – could be a friend or a partner – who will love all those things that you hate about yourself and hone all the other tings about you that you know are there. Start surrounding yourself with those people now.
    But at the end of the day – Only you can help you. If you don’t love yourself how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?


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