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Vishesh

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  • in reply to: Stuck in fear from a traumatic experience #122960
    Vishesh
    Participant

    Thanks for taking your time to write such insightful posts Anita and Nina. I am just going through a rough patch and what you’ve told me will surely help me. And you were not too harsh with me, I am very receptive to what you told me. And yes, I have a copy of “Man’s search for meaning” in my bookshelf, and I will finish it.

    Thanks again for your kind words 🙂 I will conquer my anxiety and become a better person in the end.

    in reply to: Stuck in fear from a traumatic experience #122938
    Vishesh
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thanks for replying. The answer to the first question is yes, I had been reading and watching the history of WW2 and the crimes committed by the Nazis, and it triggered a panic attack one night. I could not get rid of the images I had seen and read about. The answer to the second one is also yes, Eckhart mentioned something about children which reminded me of the horrifying things I had watched and read about. And yes, I have never had any feeling of such intense anxiety I felt.

    Nina,
    The basic thought behind it was that Eckhart said something about being present here and now, and said children feel that presence when they are very young. I got traumatized at this point, imagining about the horrors which were committed at the civilians during that war and how it would feel to undergo that horror.

    The thought behind it was that I am not even safe in the “now”, since those horrors were committed in the present moment. I know it all sounds confusing when I put it like this 🙂 It was a sense of doom at a personal level, I have never doubted the good in humanity, and I have always been very optimistic about what great things humans can achieve. I didn’t want to fall this way, I want to be a good human being. When I am not anxious and depressed, I try to be the best person I can be, I think I am even gentler than before, more loving towards my family, since I have been through tough times I have realized how much I love them and want to be with them.

    Those images of horror are gone, and I am left with the memory of the event; did I reach a wrong conclusion during meditation? Can I reverse the effect of it? Even now I get nervous and anxious when I try to relax. It also gives me a sense of failure in my spiritual journey, so there is a sense of disappointment.

    in reply to: Stuck in fear from a traumatic experience #122925
    Vishesh
    Participant

    Hi Nina,

    Thanks for your reply 🙂
    My worry is that am I damaged by this experience and it would take a lot to recover from it. I am also worried that I may have done meditation wrong and the impact could have been high because of it. Just thinking about it makes me anxious and feel insecure.

    Somehow the calm place I expected to find through meditation and spirituality was taken away from me, and what remained was insecurity and fear.

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