Moon gal- I know just how you feel! I was in an on/off reship over 5yrs, putting myself through school, when a new reship came along with someone more “spiritually advanced ” basically had been doing the inner work longer than me and came to represent everything I wished for- peace, prosperity (not a lot of $, but enough to live somewhat comfortably), and the thing that both scared and intrigued me was the way he would say he was “sending the positive vibes” whenever I would confess confusion or loneliness or cancel on getting together because of my inability to craft a life together which was based on fear of him leaving of course. The longtime on/off guy wanted to get back together and I had to tell him of my new friend… I am just getting through all this stuff, in case you can’t tell. The positive vibes ended when I couldn’t commit and the truth about the ex surfaced. I am a believer in “true love” and I know that I lost someone who was able to live fully in the moment with truth and acceptance and fearlessness, someone who encouraged me as a person… What I tell myself is that he came to show me how life is fleeting and precious and that all the external stuff in the world will go away someday so you might as well cultivate happiness for yourself on the inside. I think that is the cop out you talk about. Ultimately no one other than yourself can be responsible for your own happiness. It is a hard thing to hear if you have been raised on guilt trips or manipulation by others that we are here to make others happy. Don’t worry- most of us have-especially women. It leaves us waiting and wondering for our love to show up and fill us up. Like I said before, I am right in the middle of it right now, no joke, which is why I replied (sorry it’s so long!). If someone is not giving you what you need, you have every right to move on, but only YOU can give yourself permission to hold out for the life you want. And remember that people are giving something that is available to all of us at any moment in our day. It’s about tuning into the divine source of love- that comes through each one of us- and in your mindfulness practice gently exploring the attachments to certain people, substances or activities that we believe will bring us peace when in truth these “things” might be holding us back. Sending the love!