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June 15, 2021 at 6:39 pm #381521wigParticipant
Hi Quizzcal,
I don’t have a solution at the moment, but thought would write to support you.It is very disheartening when people begin spreading their ‘opinions’ as if they are qualified to do so.
I would mention this issue to your psychologist as well.
- How it bothers you,
- What to do about it /or how to mange it.
Do not be surprised if your colleague HAS narcissistic tendencies – narcs are into projection, big time! The fact that she has tends to diagnose others speaks to her own flaws. A healthy, stable individual won’t have the need to label others – that’s almost like having to distract oneself by shifting attention to another’s (perceived) issues.
Observe those who are quick to believe the mischief and slander- not because they are “bad” but also simplistic &/or uninformed. They are already ‘under the bus’ – they just don’t realize it as yet, as these things speak to the character (or lack thereof) of your colleague.
You need to find ways to become ‘immune’ to the behaviour and also call her to account if she overdoes it.
Continue working on your health – physical & mental, and activities that you enjoy because these people WILL wear you down with their ‘drama.’
I hope to hear from you later on.
Best!!
June 15, 2021 at 6:39 pm #381522wigParticipantDr B.
Your writing all of this is good for you. Get rid of that toxic waste. Feel your feelings. They’re valid. Her loss not yours. Concentrate on you for now. Take care of yourself. You are grieving the loss of someone you thought you loved.
I am disillusioned myself, & about same age as you but trying to take care of myself mentally & physically. I don’t want to be emotionally bulldozed ever – so right now I’m my best friend. I have bad days but now Ive noticed that they are getting fewer as I nurture the relationship I have with myself (& yes sometimes its depressing to be doing so at the 11th hour … )
Remind yourself that although this feels so dam hurtful that it’s for the better – and also good that you haven’t spent one extra minute (!) with someone who is clearly toxic for you.
Just take it one (bad or good) day at a time. The rest will follow naturally.
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