Thank you MissJane. Much of what you say helps. But here’s the part that I get hung up on: this is not a case of letting go of the past. If that were the case, this would be easy.
My mother is still living, and I continue to have interactions with her in which she says and does hurtful things. There has not been a single family event that didn’t involve a toxic incident that leaves me angry and her crying.
It seems that I have to choose between cutting off my relationship with her or just accepting the awful things she continues to do and say.