Oh my heart truly breaks for you @Tannhauser. Coming from the deep dark crevasses of despair myself, I can only hope and pray that you will find the one and only way to the truth and the light as I have. Are you open to accepting that there is a different way of looking at your life? Are you open to the possibility that happiness is attainable through letting go of your bitterness if only you knew how? I don’t know you from Adam’s house cat (where did that phrase come from anyway??) and you don’t know me, but that’s OK. When I see a brother struggling, I have to act upon my own beliefs and my own faith. It is my duty as a child of God.
Praying for you @Tannhauser, whether you appreciate it or believe in it or not. I do it with love.