Thanks Anita – I appreciate your post.

Alana-

Thanks for commenting, this resonated with me. I don’t think I would call myself a victim—the word doesn’t feel right in my mouth. I think I’ve moved somewhat past that. But yes, I kind of do feel robbed of my time. I’m not sure how I will move past that, as there are a lot of things that I haven’t experienced yet, and that weighs on my mind a lot. For example, love (romantic). I find this constant pressure to be not helpful at all, and oftentimes, it just causes me to freeze up and do nothing at all. It has prevented me from enacting positive change in my life in the past. I wonder what the cure for this is—this being, the constant pressure to experience because of feeling “robbed”?

I think if I can get that under control, I will have a lot more peace.

Mussen, Matt & Will, thanks so much for your responses. Sorry for replying so late, I kind of forgot that I had posted this.

I am working on self compassion for the abandoned child in me, which is getting better. But, I was pretty heavily abused until I was 20 years old, and did not start therapy until I was 21 (I’m 22 now), so this is all pretty new to me. I am having trouble having compassion for the me of a year ago. I was very embarrassing and hard to deal with. I was in so much pain, and I did not even know it.

I have been working with meditation a lot, so I guess I was kind of wondering if energy healing was the next step or something. I’m found all sorts of audio that I really like. I once meditated away a headache, which was pretty awesome. And yes Will, I was talking about Reiki and things like that 🙂