I agree with belove. But also, though you are a loving husband, I wonder if your approach to this very hard situation is the best. You say you are a fixer. That tends to be a male role. A woman generally wants support, empathy, and respect, not suggestions about what to do or how to think about a problem. It is, naturally, difficult for you to put yourself in her shoes. You say were able to “be a better parent by letting [your son] find his limitations without fixing them.” That’ sounds good and healthy. I (mother of a grown daughter) had a very hard time seeing my child struggle and always wanted to fix her problems and her, which, of course, I couldn’t. I probably did this too much when she was living at home. When she went to the other coast for college, I had no choice, and it became easier. And she had a lot of support from friends, which was reassuring. It must be hard to be blamed for the move if you both had wanted and agreed to it. But her upcoming move is really weighing her and seems harder for her than for you — she seems overwhelmed by so many difficult things happening at the same time. I can imagine you are resentful despite your wife’s suffering. I hate to say the obvious, but I think you should try going to a counselor, because the situation is extremely hard for you and your wife to deal with on your own. I hope you both can find peace and happiness and your wife, better health.