Forum Replies Created
March 5, 2019 at 10:14 am #283111YlvaParticipant
1. Sorry, I think I’m being consciously cryptic because it’s hard to admit that after the #metoo movement I feel that mens’ attraction to women is somewhat tainted. Suddenly it doesn’t seem just as “pure”. That’s not really a good explanation, but it’s what I feel.
2. “Shallow concept”: Personally I’m not fascinated with beautiful people. I don’t feel the need to look at them, comment on them or give them any kind of attention. It hurts to feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t think it’s natural to look at attractive people. I don’t see the big deal. To me, it would be so much more understandable if people where attracted to personality and brains.
3. Well, long story short, my boyfriend did stay in touch with one of the girls in his book and even planned to meet her alone for a cup of coffee. It never happened, but I’m still disappointed that he never even considered this to be a little off. I would never meet up with a person I had written passionately about and then shown the text to him. It just doesn’t sit well with me.
I can absolutely accept that there are attractive women in the public spaces and he is absolutely allowed to appreciate their beauty. But the women in his book are not just a beautiful passerby, they are women he fell in love with, however short it lasted. I mean, I would never tell him about my previous one night stands, so I don’t really feel like reading about his.
And thank you for being so committed to understanding 🙂March 5, 2019 at 7:37 am #283069YlvaParticipant
Thank you for taking the time to reply and read my entire story. It is true that this is an ongoing pattern. My tummy twist upon reading your advice, which means that you’re probably right. At the moment I don’t feel mature enough to appreciate that it’s natural for men to be attracted to other women. I suppose I need to grow a little more, but to be honest, ever since the me too movement I’ve had a hard time with that. I can’t really feel comfortable in my relationship when I know that all other attractive women around me are a potential subject of desire.
I certainly don’t feel that way about other men. I dont find so-called attractive men interesting. They’re just a pretty face in the crowd.
I do also feel that he can consider my emotions and since he haven’t done so in the past, I feel like I can’t trust him. How can I trust him even when he’s attracted to others? How can I navigate myself in such a shallow concept?