I recently signed up in this web to find anyone has any similar situation like me. (I heard that keeping any depressed feeling alone could make you way more depressed so…well) Of course my story is not the same as yours. So even I’ve been passed the similar situation like you, I do not want to say I totally understand you, but I can feel the weight of what you have been experienced. But like you, your friend might have been having hard time too for sure. In this big world, there are not so many friends who consider flying over or driving to her or him ‘just to see’ spending their time and money so I can see how much you like that friend and it is sad to hear that you fee like you need to let her go. But to tell you my story a bit, I also liked someone who lives far away and I did cried a lot from the air port to home after sending my friend back and could not eat food for months. Of course I did not tell my friend that ‘your visiting makes me dying’ since I did not want to make him feel bad. But distance? Yeah. Horrible. And he wanted to keep friendship rather than having LDR and did not want me to wait for him, and I knew why he said like that, but I was confused and I realized I am the person who has to cut off. Well, who knows if he just wants to keep me a special friend to boost his ago from time to time or just wants to lay me down as he visits or he really likes me so does not want me to wait for something hard to promise. I really hope the first and second are my case but I really do not know what he was thinking, but I do not want to have a long distance friendship or relationship with someone that who I like waiting days and months because.. it is hard. Because you cannot see her, it does not mean that she does not hurt. I let him not visit me again twice somehow since I knew, I will cry really really a loooooot after sending him back even I really wanted to see him again. So, I just want you to understand that why your friend can not say anything. You guys do not know each other well (since you are online friends) and it is hard to promise the future together and like you said, your fantasy is just yours. Both having ldr or keeping her as a friend are horrible either to you or to her. You know, life looks beautiful from far away, but not really in close. I do not want to say stop the feeling since I know the feeling is not the thing you can cut off easily. It can take months or years, but nobody push you to do right now so try to cut off all the things related to her and let her go slowly. I actually delete my friend’s number so even I want to text him so badly, I can’t. lol. Hope you will be fine someday.