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ZenithParticipantThank you Anita!
ZenithParticipantI did.
ZenithParticipantI dont think i am comfortable doing it here.
ZenithParticipantThis obsessive thinking is driving me crazy and i am unable to focus on my work.
ZenithParticipantMy mil is not with me right now.I dont want to confront her now.
I want to confront her when the situation comes.
Right now i want to stop obsessing about how she should treat me and how should i confront her.I dont want to do it in my head.ZenithParticipantThanks for your kind words Anita.
I am glad my manager listened to me wothout getting offended.I am happy that I took a stand and it was indeed scary. I am gonna teach my little one the same thing.
The only thing i am obsessed my is my mil.i cant get this thing out of my head.
My mils mother treats her the same.My mil has a younger brother.Her mother treats her son better than and dil.I feel like she is just passing on the generational trauma to me but not to my cosister.
I forgot to add my mil would control the way i dressed. My co sister can wear whatever she wants.I wore a tank top under a top beacuse the neckline was too low.She asked me to hide it whrere my co sister wore a skirt and crop top and her mid riff was showing she didnt say anything to her. She is so controlling when it comes to me.i wish I could have set the boundary with her.
Last year my mils mother commented on the way i dressed and she told me that i looked like old woman as i bleached my hair.i still forgave her and moved on and didnt say a thing.
I am beating myself for not taking a stand anf playing all those conversations in my head.
Eveny husband gets treated the same way.His brother is the king of the house.But atleast they dont control him what to wear like me.ZenithParticipant😄
ZenithParticipantI mustered some courage and spoke to my manager and told him that not assign us the same task as I wont get a chance to grow if i dont figure out things on own.I got so anxious to set that boundary.But I did it. He agreed with me 🙂
ZenithParticipantSo sorry to hear that.
I was doing ok when I spoke to you last week.My anxiety triggered again during the weekend. I cannot stop obsessing about how my MIL expects me to treat my co sister. I feel like running away from people. I cannot even set a emotional boundary when it comes to myself. I ruminated the same way when my neighbor(my best friend) started getting busy with other people and started ignoring me last year at the same time.
Another thing happening at my work. A new co worker has joined our team. He is a recent graduate and more smarter, assertive than me.My manger assigned a same task to both of us. Initially it was assigned to me and then my manager asked the new co worker to help me with the task. I am pretty new to learning AI stuff. I was figuring out how to do the task he would come up with an answer and he would do the task before me. I wanna learn on my own pace and figure out how to do it. I finished the task by taking in my own way with some feedback from him. I completed the task with in the time frame.
I went to india on a vacation he took over my task and changed it according to his way. I know he was trying to help me. The fact that I didnt like it he changed it and replaced some the stuff. I felt like my whole efforts were wasted. There are two ways of doing it and he thought his is better than mine.
My manger has assigned another task to me last week and he now asked my co worker to help me. I dont want my efforts to get wasted. I feel like the new co worker is overstepping when it comes to my work. Should I talk to manager about this ?
ZenithParticipantHey Anita, Good morning. What happened ? Did something trigger you ?
ZenithParticipantMy manager tells me all the time that I am so quite and have to rise my voice lol. Its been three years i didnt even get promoted yet. I just screwed up a meeting last week because of my social anxiety.
ZenithParticipantLol. I dont have the fierceness. People can easily take advantage of me.
ZenithParticipanthaha.. will try that.
My little one is more fierce than me. I like her that way.ZenithParticipantI am talking about how to respond to my mil wishes. My co sister doesnt expect anything from me its my mil who goes over broad.
ZenithParticipantHow do I do that. She tells in front of everybody.
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