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ZenithParticipantyeah chatgpt. Sometimes its hard to regulate my emotions. I say something in the spur of the moment. Its hard to deal with a kid when you are not emotionally mature. Dealing with kids needs lot empathy which I lack.
even I dont celebrate Christmas or any US holidays. Its just we don fun thing during holidays.
ZenithParticipantThats nice.
I am more of a tech person so I like chatgpt. LOL I use chatgpt to understand my cats behavior. The one we got is so cute. We have seen some other cats who hiss or bite if they dont like to be pet. Our butterscotch is so gentle.
I also went to backstreet concert last December. It was awesome and first concert ever. I never really went to concerts when i was growing up. We went to Disney during Christmas holidays. The Christmas break was good.
How was your holidays ?
ZenithParticipantLOL. I use chatgpt sometimes.
ZenithParticipantI just dont feel like doing anything the past few months.
I dont feel like talking to people.
I dont feel like coming to office.
I dont feel like cooking.
I am so irritable.
I stopped making new friends after the friendship breakup I had with my neighbor in 2024. I just dont feel like putting in the effort when you know people will change when they meet new people. Thier priorities change. May be I expect too much. I dont know. I stopped inviting people since last year. I even stopped taking my kiddo out for any events. I stopped planning. I just feel like staying home in my own space and it feels safe.
Its getting hard to deal with people when they cross the boundaries. I feel anxious or emotionally reactive when dont people dont listen to me or dont care about my feeling or respect my boundaries. Since I stopped putting in the efforts others have stopped too.
Later on, I keep obsessing about how they treated me.
Dealing with my kiddo is getting harder actually. She is very disrespectful and irritable all the time. I know I shouldnt take it personally but it makes me so angry when she talks to me like that. I am not able regulate my anger and sometimes I yell at her. Then I feel guilty about it like she would blame in future if she endures any trauma. I have been telling you this since 2024. Its really getting hard for me to accept her mistakes or her imperfections or when she treats me badly.
Everything is a power struggle with her. Getting he homework done, cleaning up her toys room, eating her dinner/lunch.
ZenithParticipantoh wow, thats nice.
We even adopted a cat last weekend. This is my first cat too. What a coincidence. We named him Butterscotch.
Sorry to hear about anxiety. You will get through this. You will be fine 🙂
ZenithParticipantHey Anita,
I was thinking about you today.
Happy new year!!
I am doing ok. How are you doing ?
ZenithParticipantLol.
You validated my feelings and put in that effirt to ask AI.That means a lot me.Thank you!
I did ask chatgpt by dropping in the song lyrics there and it cleary told me its not appropriate for children.
I am feeling bit better today.I told myself my feelings are valid and its ok to disappoint people.I was looking for certainity that i was and not overracting.I will do whats best for my kiddo.
Thats a commong thing among indian parents where they show thier all these age inappropriate songs/movies and they think its normal.I just cant imagine my kid copying that stuff.
My neighbors kids did it once..she tried to copy the heroine and some dance steps from a item song that her mom watches and my kiddo copied the same.I was baffeled.My neighbor keeps telling me those are her favorite songs.
I have seen some american kids do that on social media how can parents allow this.why dont let kids be kids.
Enough of my rant.You have a good weekend!!
ZenithParticipantAwe thats so sweet. Thank you!
Our Indian community is organizing an event which is all about celebrating indian culture which includes dance performances as well.
My little one did one performance last time and it went well.
My neighbor approached me this that her kiddo is performing with some other kids. The group has one boy and three girls including my kiddo now. They are 7 year old’s.
I come from the southern part of India, so the cinema in that region is called Tollywood. Most of the Tollywood songs are vulgar and sexist. Some movies have these songs called “ITEM SONGS” which objectify woman and adds bit of the hero’s sexual fantasies. I never let my kid watch these songs at al.
So my neighbor picked one of the item songs with these which I am not ok with. After that, I clearly told her I am not ok with my kid dancing to this song as its not age appropriate. I was so scared to set the boundary but I did it very politely. She was like we are not going to show them the real video song and she sent me dance tutorial of this song where one of the girls pretended to be a hero and the rest of the girls are dancers who he is trying to flirt with dancing one by one with them. So she is planning to make the boy hero and the rest of the girls are his dancers. They are all seven year old’s and it sounds so gross to me.
She added me to the group chat which includes other moms too.
The other mom picked a item song too. I am like how are these people even ok with it. This just made me so anxious. I dont want my kid to feel left out. My neighbors kid already told that they are performing together. If I say No to my kiddo she is going to feel bad and throw a tantrum and will say mean things to me.I feel like may be I am being too hard on her blah blah.
Today I suggested some kid appropriate songs on the group and my neighbor has not responded thats. The thought of disappointing her is making me anxious. Are nt my feeling valid ?
ZenithParticipantHi Anita,
I am having rough day since yesterday.
My anxiety is back after a long time. LOL
How are you ?
ZenithParticipantThank you Anita!
ZenithParticipantI did.
ZenithParticipantI dont think i am comfortable doing it here.
ZenithParticipantThis obsessive thinking is driving me crazy and i am unable to focus on my work.
ZenithParticipantMy mil is not with me right now.I dont want to confront her now.
I want to confront her when the situation comes.
Right now i want to stop obsessing about how she should treat me and how should i confront her.I dont want to do it in my head.
ZenithParticipantThanks for your kind words Anita.
I am glad my manager listened to me wothout getting offended.I am happy that I took a stand and it was indeed scary. I am gonna teach my little one the same thing.
The only thing i am obsessed my is my mil.i cant get this thing out of my head.
My mils mother treats her the same.My mil has a younger brother.Her mother treats her son better than and dil.I feel like she is just passing on the generational trauma to me but not to my cosister.
I forgot to add my mil would control the way i dressed. My co sister can wear whatever she wants.I wore a tank top under a top beacuse the neckline was too low.She asked me to hide it whrere my co sister wore a skirt and crop top and her mid riff was showing she didnt say anything to her. She is so controlling when it comes to me.i wish I could have set the boundary with her.
Last year my mils mother commented on the way i dressed and she told me that i looked like old woman as i bleached my hair.i still forgave her and moved on and didnt say a thing.
I am beating myself for not taking a stand anf playing all those conversations in my head.
Eveny husband gets treated the same way.His brother is the king of the house.But atleast they dont control him what to wear like me. -
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