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ZenithParticipantlol.After two weeks of our conversation, my neighbor tried to set up a play date. I said no because we already visited that place with my other friend. I didnt call my neighbor at that time because of how she archived my chats and I didnt want to talk her. Anyways other day, my little one saw my neighbors daughter and she ran to her house to play with her. I had to go her house as I didnt have any other choice. My little one was missing her badly so I set up a play date. When I asked my neighbors daughter if she would like to join us for skating she said she would be busy with her other group of friends. I realized in the moment my friend could not admit the fact that she is busy with her other group of friends but her kiddo straight up told me that her friends would be coming over or she would be busy with them during the weekend. I still put my ego aside for the sake of my daughter my planned a play date for both of them and they said yes. It was awkward and I felt like our friendship is not same as it was before. I still could sense that she is still angry with me. I still miss her and keep thinking about her. She has move don and having fun with her freinds.
ZenithParticipantThats nice.
ZenithParticipantI am doing ok. Winters are quite depressing in US.
ZenithParticipantHey Anita! How is it going?
ZenithParticipantThanks for that Anita!
ZenithParticipantYep.
ZenithParticipantI dont see any real threat.
ZenithParticipantI was angry with my neighbor first on how she left me. Later on I realized that I am trying to play victim here. I dont want to blame her now for the distance. I have accepted the fact people change over time. Its up to her to decide whom she want to spend time with.
ZenithParticipantThat makes me so anxious.
ZenithParticipantIts makes me anxious. I had one friend in the past before she started getting close to others then I moved on. But still I was nice to her and we stayed in touch. She couldnt take it when I started getting close to others. She blamed me and started gossiping about me in front of others. The “others” would come and ask me about how I am ignoring her. That was hell lot of drama to deal with. I would get anxious that why would she do this to me. She is the one who got busy others and started telling everybody that I ignored her. If I do the same thing now, I fear my current neighbor would the same. I hate all the drama.
ZenithParticipantOn the other hand, she is having with her other group.She didnt validate my feelings when i expressed her how I felt.I am here scared like a little kid worried about her feelings.
ZenithParticipantI love that prayer and I use it everyday. I am extremely stressed about this friendship. I keep going back and forth. My friend texted me today as reply for the message that I sent on Thursday. It looks like she archived my chat we have this feature on WhatsApp where you can archive the chats into separate folder so that you wont able to see thier messages. I cried on Friday like how she ignored my message. Its pretty clear that she is ignoring me now as I told ger to stop expecting from me. I kept my ego aside, I planned a kids play date to go for pumpkin patch with her on Saturday and I texted her on Thursday. Today she texted me saying that the other group already planned on Wednesday so she went with them on Sunday. The other thing she told me was her husband told my husband that as they are busy on Saturday we can go together on Tuesday. My little one has a class on Tuesday so we went on Saturday. As my little one gets bored on the weekends. I want to leave this friendship but I just keep going back and forth like an idiot. I dont know I feel like I cant take thier rejection anymore. On top of that she is ignoring my texts now. Now its pretty clear that they are busy with other group during the weekends. During our conversation, she did not agree with that instead she blamed me that I wasnt planning early and she told me that she is pretty busy during the weekdays. Now I planned early she said no and they are planned on the weekdays. I want to cut this off. I want to stop asking them when we go out. I want go out and make new friends. But I am unable to move on as I am scared she would blame me if i move on. She already blamed me for not texting. I am scared she would blame if i stop asking her or texting her.
ZenithParticipantI am not sure even if its related to childhood trauma.You get hurt when someone who is close to you suddenly drifts apart from you once they meet new people.This has been happening since last year.Do you still go put in the efforts, even if they say no to you? I have accepeted it and moved on.Suddenly she comes to me and tells me i have become so busy that I dont have time to text her.We both have a mutual friend B, who told me that she is saying no to her a lot lately.Generally we three used to meet everytime. We both met last week.B didnot want to call her this time because she was saying no to them.I told B lets not do that and call her.She called my neighbor and she said no again.She was busy partying other group of friends.But when i asked her the same thing she doesnt accept the fact but in return she started blaming that I am saying no to her.I did say to no her couple of times, because i was on my period and the other time my little one was hurt.We did send my little one everytime to her house when she called us.Because little one loves to play with her daughter.Now I am scarred she would cause any drama by telling others i had hurt her because i have had the same thing happen with other friends who would always blame and create the drama.
ZenithParticipant<p style=”text-align: left;”>Honestly I dont want have to the conversation about my past.Most indians especially my friend doesnt understand childhood trauma or anxiety.I told her how I felt.Then she got defensive.Started blaming me.If she doesnt want to put the effort then I dont care.I know it hurts but I dont want to be a victim.Thats how some friends.They change when they meet new people.It happened earlier with two of ky friends.They create the distanace but still i put the efforts.Finally when i give up they blame for the distance.I want to move on.Its pretty clear now that she is busy during the weekend with her new set of friends and I know she doesnt want to talk to me anymore.</p>
ZenithParticipantI put my ego aside and asked her again. This time like she said I planned ahead.Still no teply.It looks like she is angry with me now after our conversation.I dont wamt to talk to her anymore.
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