Tiny Wisdom: On Starting Anew

New Day

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

One of the greatest misconceptions in life is that we are somehow powerless to let go of what's behind us. That we have to carry regret, shame, or disappointment, and that is has to dictate how today will unfold, at least on some level.

It doesn't. At any moment, you can let go of who you've been and decide to be someone new—to do something differently. It won't always be easy, but it is always a choice you can make.

You can either dwell and stay stuck, or let go and feel free. Give yourself space to fill with good feelings about the beautiful day in front of you—and the beautiful tomorrow you're now creating.

Photo here

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest bookTiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

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  • Well… You can always do the Avatar Course, Become and Avatar Master and help others become more empowered and do the Integrity Course which parallels the Masters Course (for masters only). Believe me the past will begin to fade into oblivion the moment you are introduced to the Avatar Course.

  • Kaikailili

    That's really dumb. I call that avoiding reality and deluding yourself.

  • Asdasd

    i think there is a thin line between avoid and overcome something.

  • Azurahalla

    @ Kaikailili, you are well on your way spiritual enlightenment….Keep examining your world, and know its okay to think something is dumb,just don't stop there 🙂

  • Steve

    Try having 60-80 hour work weeks written into your divorce (to pay child support). Then we'll talk about “leaving behind the past”.

    I love my kids, don't get me wrong. but you just try to stay positive working 2 shifts a day for 5 years (and another 10 to come, and no job skills to take elsewhere, and no time or money to learn new ones).

    If you haven't screwed up your life, God bless you. But there is a such thing as “too late”.

  • Hi Steve~

    I don't have to work 60-80 hours a week to pay child support, so I can't speak to what that must be like. And I by no means would want to insinuate your circumstances aren't difficult. I can understand how hard it must be on your physically and emotionally to have that much on your shoulders.

    I did think at one point I screwed up my life, though. In fact, for a while I wondered how I could have “wasted” well over a decade. If not for the type of thinking outlined here, I don't think I would have turned my life around. I would have felt it was too late, and spiraled into a sense of hopelessness and depression.

    So I guess my point here is this: it may, in fact, be too late for some things. There's a lot I missed in that 10 years I can never go back and do again. But it doesn't have to be too late for everything.

    So much of our lives is shaped by attitude. While it's totally understandable how certain situations would make it nearly impossible to stay positive and mindful, I still believe it can make a massive difference in the way we experience and create our lives.

    Your are in my thoughts~

  • drew

    @ steve.

    when circumstances cant change, change your attitude.


  • Oceanpoetry

    Gratitude would help. Gratitude for your children, that you are healthy enough to work. Sincere gratitude will transform everything.

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  • Rhyan wood

    Sorry to say, but that's a load my friend. Steve is exactly right. There are times when it's just too late to make any positive changes and you have to live with the consequences of the past.

  • Wicky_boy

    what are you selling rev.?

  • Frankly. Selling isn't the right word. But it does cost money. If it's done with me I get paid the fee to present guide exercises the students uses to learn to function from the Higher Self. But the fact is I don't care who one does the course with. If it's with me I am honored and love it.

    Like my baby sister says “work on oneself is the bravest thing a person can do.” And work on oneself cannot be done alone, ask any wise and good person how they got wise and good and they will tell you they had help.

    It certainly should be done in the presence of those who love and appreciate others and the process and have successfully worked to reduce suffering in others. The time, level of study and energy necessary to produce powerful, lasting results and set another on a path of personal empowerment should be paid appropriately. $2300.00 for ten 10 hour days is a really good deal for what Avatar offers. That is the ability to manage one's life with ease and learn to more fully appreciate others at the same time. An experiential introduction costs nothing. There are seven mini-courses which an Avatar Master would offer which cost nothing.

  • Stephaniebarton35

    How do you move past the fact that you chose to not have children even though you were pregnant? I feel so alone, that I missed out, made stupid decisions and now I am destine to be alone for the rest of my life. My child bearing years are over. How do you get past the loneliness? It eats at me everyday…..

  • Hi Stephanie~

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I'm not sure what to say that won't sound trite–after all, only you know what you're dealing with and what might ease your loneliness.

    I can say this, though: as a woman in my 30s, I know what it's like to feel uncertain about having children–and to feel the pressure of time hanging on my decision. I worry about waiting too long and then one day waking up feeling like I made a bad choice. If that does happen to me–and it might, as my boyfriend isn't sure he wants kids any time soon–I may consider adoption.

    Is that an option for you? Or if it's more about filling a void in general, are there other ways to address your loneliness? Can you join some type of club or group, or put yourself out there more to meet people?

    I hope this helps a little. I'm sending positive vibes your way =)


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  • William Straub

    This is great wisdom and very very true!

  • Wow…what a great Blog Lori. Thanks so much for doing it. I write a Blog called Unimio to describe how I create a life I love to live. Your wisdom and insights are great.

  • Thanks Bradley. I’m glad you enjoy the blog, and I will definitely check out yours!

  • youarethegreatestgift

    true wisdom….real wisdom. the stuff you can touch and feel and truly understand all comes from one place…. space. this space is always here. present and free. its not something you can grab onto, the present moment moves too fast, but if you follow the old saying go with the flow you might catch some glimpses of it. maybe rather than going with the flow a better statement is be the flow! be the flow of life and everything will fall into place. you know the greatest happiness doesn’t come from happy thoughts, or all the good times, memories and such…..but it comes from getting real. Pieces of a pie may be “good” pieces of a pie might be “bad”, but in the end its still a pie and pie’s rock! remember love and dont let it go. peace!

  • Bodujaadi

    inspiring for recovering junkies everywhere…seriously maaan…

  • Marcy P

    Steve….it is never too late. You always have to keep in sight and mind the things you want and how you want them. When you look at things as negative then the will be negative. ?I know your pain, I am a divorced and I too have to pay child support. I hit some rought times since my divorce…things that scare most people. The only option is to survive and make things better and leave the past in the past. I hope the best for you….I do understand your pain…

  • “You can either dwell and stay stuck, or let go and feel free.” So true.

  • Angeltears83

    anyway of making this a dating site? meet ya interests?

  • SweetPeaNW

    Oh Buddha. You never cease to amaze me. <3

  • Prayerangel629

    I too chose not to have children in favor of higher education, career, and the unselfish knowledge that I could never devote the necessary, pure selflessness, sacrifice and time to raise kids. I adore children. I am fascinated by their intelligence,their innocence, their gift to someday create an amazing future, their beauty and their light. So I chose to be a pediatric therapist. I consider my career a hobby, not a job. There are opportinities for you to be with children. Perhaps you can seek out volunteer positions. I make time volunteer at several women’s shelters on my days off. This is a wonderful to give o the community too. Good Luck to you! Don’t wait! There are so many children waiting for your time!!

  • Freedom

    Sounds like a “fake your own death” sort of situation. It’s your life. 15 years is a long time to throw away hating every day. There are ways out, but they will probably be drastic. Up to you.

  • Acchrist101

    Steve i know you probably will never see this but coming from a kid with an uncanny similar childhood to your kids i can tell you this.
    Your kids dont care about child support. If you dont pay it though your ex will make you out to be some horrible person and your kids will believe her.
    Stick it out, put in the time and your kids will one day understand your sacrifice and love you so much more. Just grit your teeth for now and dont put a hit out on your ex.

  • tobe

    buddhas dont go to heaven, only those who know jesus

  • Anotherreason

    havent met him……Nice guy?

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