“Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” -Horace
Have you ever heard the phrase “Feel the fear and do it anyway”? The first time I heard this, I immediately thought, “How?” How exactly do you push yourself to do something when everything in your body tells you not to do it?
If I practiced blind allegiance to corporate slogans, I might tell myself to “just do it.” But I’ve noticed that this is not sufficient for me. What helps me is to understand and chip away at the mental barriers in my way.
It’s only when we break down those barriers that we’re able to learn and grow. Otherwise, we’re merely pushing through resistance, instead of reprogramming when, what, and how we resist.
The big one that comes to mind, for me, is public speaking. The other day I seriously considered canceling a commitment for September because my resistance is almost palpable. Though I did some speaking in my early 20s, I have grown less comfortable in the spotlight.
I realized there is one main cause: When I write, I feel like I’m sharing myself, as part of a community of people all doing the same thing. When I stand in front of a room, I feel like I’m lecturing people, as opposed to making them part of the conversation. It feels more like performing than engaging. And I don’t want to perform. I want to really connect.
Now that I’ve recognized that massive main barrier, I don’t need to merely push through the fear–I can reframe the thoughts that create it, and in that way, somewhat assuage it. I can decide that speaking isn’t performing, but rather starting a conversation, and one that might be even more powerful since it allows for face-to-fact interaction.
The truth is that I am still scared, but I now have some fuel to push through it, and that’s a lot more helpful than merely telling myself to do it. Now it’s not about will; it’s about motivation.
Today if you find yourself struggling to do something you know you want to do, ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? And how can I reframe the situation to emphasize the rewards of acting regardless?
Photo by rapidacid
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.
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