Dear time-to-heal:

You are very welcome! You did mention the core problem in your original post on this thread and I missed it until now. You wrote there: “Given that I have a number of embarrassing sexual experiences too (will vent those some other time) at a very young age”

What you are trying to heal from is your own sexual experiences at a young age, as a child still. Those experiences are troubling you very much. You think you may be worthy of being rejected, ostracized for those experiences. You then think of how you suffered otherwise as a child and you think: maybe that excuses your participation in those early sexual experiences.

Am I correct so far? Please correct me where I am wrong.

I believe that you carry no responsibility for your sexual experiences as a child as young as a pre- adolescent. If your parents did an excellent job parenting you, or at the least, a good-enough job, then at the time, they should have known about those behaviors (because you would have told them, having a trusting, safe relationships with at least one parent). Then your mother, let’s say, would talk with you about it and guide you. She would listen to you tell her what happened, how it felt before, during and after, talk with you about the consequences, emotional and otherwise, all age appropriate, in an accepting, not condemning way.

I don’t think you had good enough parenting. There was no parent/ primary care taker then to notice you, to listen to you, to gently talk with you, guide you. You were alone with what happened. Am I correct?

If I am correct, and I believe I am, you carry zero responsibility.

What do you think so far?

anita