Anita, thank you for your responses and for shedding light on a situation that I have been struggling with for a long time. You write so clearly and are so insightful! You really have been wonderful to talk to, thank you. I think I have been longing to be accepted by his family when actually, I agree with what you said, that approval is most likely a lost cause. I agree too with what you said about access to our son, but unfortunately my husband is not on the same page as me there so it’s created a me against them situation and he feels in the middle. I have relied on him to express my needs to them and he has failed to so, and rather than address them myself, I opted to stay silent. I am beginning to realise that this needs to change. Even if it leads me and my husband down a rocky path. For my sanity I can’t continue as I have been doing.

I will be thinking about how I can tactfully ask her to stop on the group chat. Sometimes the religious comments are extremely baltant, and other times they are slight. The other day me and my husband hiked to the top of a mountain and he asked me to share a picture of the view with them. I did, and her response was that it is ‘absolutely God made’. I know this is a small reference and perhaps I should brush it off as maybe on this occasion I’m being petty, but her inability to say anything to me without it being religious in nature has made me feel very intolerant to any reference of God coming from her.

My husband knows how I feel but he thinks I am being difficult if I say anything about it because he knows it will cause conflict. In that regard I feel like I’m caught in the middle of respecting his wishes or being true to myself.

Thank you for your time Anita, I really appreciate the thought and care in your messages.