Dear Anita,

Thank you for your comment.

How I feel about it, is that it tells us, that way take ourselves very seriously. We think that we are in control, that we have serious moves to make. That I can actually plan something and then do it and then I have achieved something, then I am succesful. But the saint knows, that it doesn’t work that way. That God (or the Universe, or Life, or however you would like to call it) is in charge, not we, and that we can just undergo (saying I surrender), so he is laughing at the beauty and the mystery of Gods moves. It takes a lot of courage to let go of our wanting to be ‘in control’. I think the saint has let go of his ego and now just enjoys what comes his way, because he has faith, and he knows there is a plan with it, that he doesn’t need to understand it, but he knows God had a reason for it, whatever it is. That is what I would like to learn in life, and i know it will take me time.

You can see why I like the poem so much, because I am having so much difficulties with it. I want to keep in control, I want to decide what happens in my life, and I want to keep making moves, and I would just like to be at peace and let go of that clinging, accept what comes in my life. Yes, that man was a perfect example for it. First of all, I got to meet him, when we were together I couldn’t just be myself, and get on with him with all the warmth and tenderness I felt for him. I couldn’t allow it to be there and kept locking myself of for him, even though I wanted to open up. But I did get to work with him and I did learn things from him, without talking or anything. Now I left there (I did it myself, even thought it happened a bit in a blur), on a moment that I found the worst timing in relation to our contact, and I feel lost, which might be a good thing because now I feel so lost that I am really challenged to get closer to myself and te learn self-acceptance, and acceptance of reality. To go deeper into mindfulness and into being authentic, because I have experienced so painfully the result of not being authentic. Ok I am writing too much again. But, yes, the whole year, I have been overthinking, overanalysing, overinterpreting, never managing to be in the moment. Wondering what I would say, what I would do, trying to figure out in my mind, what he thinks about me, if he is married, etc. Instead of living in the moment and enjoying whatever happens, WHEN it is happening. And I have nothing now, because of all the planning my serious moves.

Ok, I didn’t mean this poem to be about myself, to analyse my own situation, I just wanted to share it because I think it’s really interesting.