Dear loveleebabe:

You asked a very good question: if you are so abused (and you are), why aren’t you leaving? Why is it so difficult? My answer: it is the nature of abuse to make the victim weak. It is part of the abuse: to lead you to believe that the abuse is your fault, that if you leave you will be in danger. To lead you to believe you will not succeed leaving her; that danger will come to you if you leave her.

So you are scared and unmotivated: who wouldn’t be scared of perceived future danger, and who wouldn’t be unmotivated to do what you believe will fail?

She is keeping you in a sort of prison. Her lock is scaring you. So you stay there imprisoned by fear. And then, you got used to it, just like prisoners who get used to the benefits of prison: watching TV when available, eating, playing chess with other prisoners, making their own alcohol secretly and drinking it- enjoying all the little pleasures they can get being in prison. And so, they get comfortable, “institutionalized”- it is called.

Is this what happened and is happening to you?

anita