Dear chelly629:

It seems to me that you did get clear about which direction to move, at about 28, moving away from being focused on others’ needs, wants and preferences to your own. Then you got discouraged because you didn’t make this change perfectly and the consequences of people pleasing just hit you in the present.

Keep moving in the same direction regardless. These kind of changes cannot be made perfectly. The old behaviors are habits, established pathways in the brain. It takes time and practice to develop new pathways and weaken the old.

Regarding the consequences: there will be good-for you consequences if you keep moving forward to operating from your needs and wants, and not others’. Nothing you can do about the consequences you already suffered but there is a lot you can do for future consequences that will benefit you.

You are discouraged but you already started in the right direction.

anita