Dear chelle629:

You mentioned being “brutally honest” with yourself twice. This is your quest, to see yourself as you are and to see others as they are and figure your way from there. Am I correct?

You will surely need to be gentle with yourself on this quest because the truth is often unpleasant and often enough, painful. Yet being blind to the truth only protects our awareness of it. The truth is there nonetheless, exacting its price for ignoring it.

We instinctively withdraw from pain and so, when the truth is painful, we withdraw from seeing it. You wrote: “however much we try to understand and communicate with each other, something is just not right – I can’t explain – it’s a feeling I guess.” I believe you are referring to your husband.

“Something is just not right”- you know it but your awareness of what it is that is wrong, the awareness is limited. You “can’t explain” because your eyes, figuratively, are closed. You don’t want to see what is painful to see.

What is painful to see, I don’t know. I would suggest the painful part is what you saw when you were a child- what made you close your eyes then. One of your parents was distressed and you believed then that it was your job to fix him or her. Your safety was dependent on that mission then.

Your thoughts?

anita