Dear Anita,

You are absolutely spot on with – “don’t know how to deal with sadness”. Sadness is a terrible thing for me, whether it’s the emotion in me or the emotion in others. I try so hard to numb “sorrow” inside me, and “save” others from being sad.

And yes – you are also spot on on “emotional experience/relationship seem alien”. In general, I did have relationship issues with people, whether they are friends or love relationships. I had problems setting boundaries (like what sort of boundaries are for friendships, and what sort of boundaries are for love relationships, and how much should I open up to others), and from hearing from you, I think I still do. I still think I have issues or doubt on forming bonds with others, especially what type of bonds.

“Bring my heart to my experiences, to my interactions, closest to 100%” I think that’s what I’ve been trying to do since 5 years ago. I guess the pathways between heart and rational part is still not strong enough, and not in every aspect of my life. I’m doing it well in career wise, but not in relationships.

“start as if I was five years old” Would that be irresponsible? I mean – there are things that you can’t really act as a 5 year old?

Michelle