I thank you for your kind words, Maria, but I can’t truly appreciate what isn’t tangible and before me eyes. I don’t feel community with those who aren’t really there. My life has been full of too much isolation. Either someone is beside me and in my life or they are not.

Similarly it does not change that I have no one to love and no one to love me in the manner I truly want, something deep, romantic and unconditional. I it won’t solve my problems and I know it won’t cure me but it is the only thing in life that I want right now. I need someone in my life who I can love. I need to be valued by another. I a strong urge to have a family. When I’m old and gray I want to be surrounded by loving children, maybe even my wife, the way my father was. I want those people in my life as I continue to age and continue to wither. If that’s too much to ask for…. then I have no desire to grow so old.